Uckfield Guestbook 2003

Thank you for visiting
our pages.

Forty, elderly …. I don’t think so!


– Friday, September 12, 2003 at 14:28:14 (BST)

Do you supply the majorette and cheerleaders uniforms Amanda? If you do, I will leave my measurements next time I post. If you don’t, is it possible to get a grant to help with the cost?A gentleman never tells his age but I do fall with in the age criteria you left in your first posting


– Thursday, September 11, 2003 at 19:24:19 (BST)

Dave you are more than welcome but you must be 40 or over as this is for the elderly only


– Thursday, September 11, 2003 at 10:41:17 (BST)

Amanda, I hope this is a non-sexist group and you allow the older man to participating.


– Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 22:24:44 (BST)

INSTEP SENIOR CITIZEN MAJORETTES c/o: The Weald Hall, Uckfield Civic Centre, UCKFIELD. We are non-profit making older community majorette and cheerleader group, meeting on Monday evenings in Uckfield Civic Centre. We freely give of our time to give the elderly of Uckfield an interest and purpose in life so if you are aged between 40 and 80 please do come along


– Wednesday, September 10, 2003 at 21:13:12 (BST)

when is our local webmaster going to clean his site up???? we shall soon be
hearing obout the advent of wheel !!! some of these measages even further than
that!!!!! come get it sorted out. dergan


[Sorry I am so crap at running things here but thanks for the reminder – all comments are most welcome. You will now find at the bottom of the page, a link to previous year’s entries. Once again please accept my humble apologies.- webmeister]

– Tuesday, September 09, 2003 at 21:54:32 (BST)

Sabrina, you forgot to say 30 to 40% of full time borders are male asylum
seekers between the age of 16 and 25


– Saturday, September 06, 2003 at 00:24:10 (BST)

Residence should not be concerned about Andrews Church of Fruitful Alliance
building a meeting hall in Uckfield, I have been an active member for six years
after being converted in a shopping centre in Los Angeles. The church is very
active in providing facilities for the young ranging from caring for a working
mum baby from 10 days old, babysitting, play school, pre school. youth clubs
camping trips, go karting, football, cricket, tennis, nature trips, sailing,
driving tuition (both motorcycles and cars) help with homework and education –
all without charge. The church has free 24 hour gyms for all ages, tennis
courts, squash etc etc

Sabrina Hamilton

– Friday, September 05, 2003 at 20:42:47 (BST)

does anyone know the starting time of the 2003 carnival in uckfeild???:D

– Friday, September 05, 2003 at 16:19:03 (BST)

Up the workers is an old saying from a TV programme called ‘citizen smith’.
He was a socialist icon at the time and for anyone who has ever lived in South

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 23:13:10 (BST)

For those of you he want to know more about Andrews Church of Fruitful
Alliance, run a search on Goggle, I did, and I wish I hadn’t


– Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 14:20:37 (BST)

I know Agnes, I was being sarcastic, you should know me well enough to know
my sense of humour by now! Those 3 men should be ashamed of themselves for not
getting involved. By the way, what “up the workers” mean?

Morgan Schlitz

– Wednesday, September 03, 2003 at 12:43:21 (BST)

There are a number of “Andrews Church of Fruitful Alliance”
churches throughout Europe. In fact there is at least one in each of the EU
member states except the UK. This church is seen as the ‘European’ church hence
the interdominational status, heavily promoted by the EU the majority of funding
comes from European funds, the national state and local taxation. Two are to be
built in England (one at Uckfield and the other in Shropshire), one in Scotland
and possibly one in Wales. In France local counsellors were offered highly paid
advisory posts within the church and so helped oil the wheels of democracy when
local objections were raised


– Monday, September 01, 2003 at 23:52:17 (BST)

What has happened to Democracy in this country? Now we have the threat of a
huge religous building dominating our town and the local people let alone the
council have not been informed. Why is John Prescot trying to destroy rural
communities in the South East, what with him forcing tens of thousands of new
homes on Kent he is now starting on Sussex. Has anyone heard of this ‘Andrews
Church of Alliance’, what do they stand for, what do out local religous leaders


– Monday, September 01, 2003 at 22:26:44 (BST)

Some counsellors were approached by the ‘Church’ some months ago and agreed
to support the application to DEFRA. I personally believe the construction of
this church will put Uckfield on the map and result in a cosmopolitan community
that will, in the longer term, be of benefit to us all


– Monday, September 01, 2003 at 22:26:34 (BST)

Some counsellors were approached by the ‘Church’ some months ago and agreed
to support the application to DEFRA. I personally believe the construction of
this church will put Uckfield on the map and result in a cosmopolitan community
that will, in the longer term, be of benefit to us all


– Monday, September 01, 2003 at 22:18:12 (BST)

What has happened to Democracy in this country? Now we have the threat of a
huge religous building dominating our town and the local people let alone the
council have not been informed. Why is John Prescot trying to destroy rural
communities in the South East, what with him forcing tens of thousands of new
homes on Kent he is now starting on Sussex. Has anyone heard of this ‘Andrews
Church of Alliance’, what do they stand for, what do out local religous leaders


– Monday, September 01, 2003 at 22:08:22 (BST)

I say unto the People of Uckfield, beware, beware of Andrews Church of
Fruitful Alliance, an abomination, a false Church, a false Prophet. For fear of
reprisals, I can say no more here. Email me and I will help you in your fight
against this carbuncle of sin.

Preacher Man for God <preachermanforgod@hotmail.com>

– Saturday, August 30, 2003 at 21:03:58 (BST)

Some of you may remember a year or two ago there was talk of a huge meeting
hall being built near Uckfield for The Andrews Church of Fruitful Alliance, an
international multidenominational religous organisation. Without elected town
council knowledge our local government in support of central government DEFRA,
the ministry headed up by John Prescott, has agreed in principle for this huge
edifice to be built on the floodplain in the land east of the High Street. As
this land is permanently wet the complete building including carparking for 1000
cars will be constructed above ground on 4m (13′) high concrete piles. This area
of OUR heritage supports a rare community of plant including wild angelica,
marsh marigold, purple loosestrife, and tussock sedge. The wetland is also home
for snipe, and many other species of birds including sparrow hawks. It was hoped
that this land would eventually become an official Local Nature Reserve but
unless we act fast will disappear under concrete for ever. Not only will the
land disappear but in effect so will our town as Andrews Church of Fruitful
Alliance meeting halls are massive and are built to hold meetings of 15,000
people or more, they are equipped with huge gyms, accomodation for up to 1000
people and are high security venues bathed in floodlights from dusk to dawn. We
must ALL act know to overthrow this terrible decision.


– Friday, August 29, 2003 at 20:26:22 (BST)

Jen — would love to meet up with some more girls in the area for goings out!
Sounds fun! and Dave, I’m not into that (3 people thing). As I previously said,
if it’s watching you want, then go to that event, otherwise, you might be able
to convince me.


– Thursday, August 28, 2003 at 12:52:38 (BST)

Sally and jen, I did not mean to hurt your feelings, I just assume that you
originally said you would meet up with me out of kindness for an old man. Of
course I would love to meet up with both of you, I’m sure it would be a lot more
fun watching you two enjoying yourselves, than watching a load or pervs doing
pervy things


– Wednesday, August 27, 2003 at 22:06:23 (BST)

Sally, I agree with you, it was Dave who wimped out. All mouth and trousers I
think! Maybe you and I should meet up … who needs men to have a good time!


– Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 23:47:14 (BST)

Morgan, you know me too well to think I really cut down a tree. MY only crime
is standing up to be counted whilst most of the Uckfield citizens are surrendor
monkeys who would rather let 15 year old terraways mug and vandalise than to
stand up and ask them to behave themselves. When I did what I did, there were
three men, all of the ages of about 40 years who simply watched and would not
get involved. I am taking them to task and calling them all as witnesses so
their cowardice will be reported in the local papers. FREEDOM TO UCKFIELD …..

Agnes Skinner 87 <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 18:47:24 (BST)

Dave, I’m not all mouth (though I’ve been told I have a nice one). You’re the
one who hasn’t persisted. I had said before that I’d take you out on the town.
But if it’s only watching that you want, then go to the event.


– Tuesday, August 26, 2003 at 10:21:27 (BST)

Lilly, book me in for ring side seat please, since Sally & jen turned out
to be all mouth & knickers I need a bit of entertainment to cheer myself up,
nothing like a bit of peeping tommery for that.


– Monday, August 25, 2003 at 18:31:40 (BST)

Chris, Thanks for the information about the “old” Buckswood Grange
school in Uckfield. I suppose it was time to tear down another old but lovely
building. What a shame.

Barbara <babs_uk@hotmail.com>

– Monday, August 25, 2003 at 17:51:43 (BST)

Hi Lilly, didn’t know you posted on here. Whens the outdoor event as we would
both like to come.

Andre’ and Helen

– Monday, August 25, 2003 at 17:02:05 (BST)

I now have a job at the Maresfield Massage establishment in reception. You
wouldn’t believe who makes up the clientel. Couple massage and group massage are
very popular with an outdoor event planned soon in a secluded area near Rye,
voyeurs  will be welcome in return for a small fee


– Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 19:18:52 (BST)

The old Buckswood Grange is currently being converted into apartments and
cottages and four 4 bed houses are being built in the grounds.


– Sunday, August 24, 2003 at 13:20:42 (BST)

Bert, even though Agnes is in her 80’s, she has the strength of an ox! You
should see her mate. However, my question to her is what was the reason behind
her chopping down this poor old tree??

Morgan Schlitz

– Saturday, August 23, 2003 at 01:03:21 (BST)

I know for a fact that none of the Uckfield Town Councillors claim expenses
or allowances, and why are they biggots Betty?


– Friday, August 22, 2003 at 15:38:33 (BST)

What about so called expenses and allowances. Bigots the lot of them


– Friday, August 22, 2003 at 14:01:26 (BST)

Sorry, I mean RIGHT reasons!


– Friday, August 22, 2003 at 08:46:18 (BST)

Town Councillors don’t get paid anything … so maybe they are doing it for
the wright reasons.


– Friday, August 22, 2003 at 08:45:00 (BST)

I am the human resources director for one of the largest employers in Sussex.
I am afraid it is true that local government employees are either rejects from
the private sector or the unemployables. Much of their time is spent on
pointless courses run by the same type of fools that they themselves are,
qualification certificates are the name of the game resulting in enhanced
salaries for an abismal performance that would never be accepted outside of
government. It is a sad reflection on society that we put up with these idiots
who waste our taxes


– Thursday, August 21, 2003 at 11:16:53 (BST)

What about local council officials – no one outside of government would even
consider employing them. They couldn’t survive in the big wide world.


– Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 22:10:04 (BST)

I must agree, people who become councillors are always the least suited to be
in that position. They actually believe they are serving the community, they may
be weak minded enough to convince thier self of this but not the populace at
large. Most have inferiority complexes and become councillors in a vain attempt
to appear important, how sad they are


– Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 22:07:03 (BST)

Have you seen how much councillors are paid? Other than destroying our
quality of life what do they actually do of value other than pat each other on
the back and fiddle expenses?


– Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 21:58:29 (BST)

Buckswood School – chances are you will find it just off the A259 at
Guestling, between Hastings and Rye, in a very old but very odd looking country
house. The School has been there about three years maybe? Hope that helps.

Chris Woodhead

– Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 21:36:27 (BST)

I have recently bought an etching by the artist A.C. Fox entitled “At
Uckfield, Sussex”. It is a beautiful image of a man with some cattle, a
cottage in the background and a large tree on the right side. My parents haveone
of his original paintings which is similar in it’s content. I was wondering if
anyone knows anything about the artist. Please contact me if you can help.

Curious <LeblancKizmet@aol>

– Wednesday, August 20, 2003 at 01:12:12 (BST)

Can anyone tell me what has happened to what used to be Buckswood Grange
boarding school?

Barbara <babs_uk@hotmail.com>

– Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 13:55:11 (BST)

Without going into details, I am absolutely fed up with these – Agnes is one
– ancients who have lived way beyond their three score years and ten, setting
out to deliberately feather their own nests without regard to legality and then,
when they get caught, pleading that because of their age they did not realize
what they were doing was wrong.Lock them up in could drafty cells, feed them
just bread and water and with any luck, they will either starve to death or die
of phenomena.

Shop keeper

– Monday, August 18, 2003 at 22:30:04 (BST)

As Agnes is in her eighties how could she have possibly chopped down a 300
year old Holm oak covered by a TPO (Tree preservation order)? The police would
not be envolved as other than being very busy persecuting motorists the chopping
down of a tree covered by a TPO is a civil offence enforced by councils


– Monday, August 18, 2003 at 21:39:26 (BST)

She chopped down a 300 year old holm oak tree that was protected with a TPO.


– Monday, August 18, 2003 at 09:01:44 (BST)

what did agnes do?

Tree Hugger

– Monday, August 18, 2003 at 01:17:57 (BST)

Agness, so sorry, I have no choice, unless I give evidence for the
prosecution police will charge me with aiding and abeting, for all our sakes,
please plead guilty.

Iris C

– Saturday, August 16, 2003 at 15:36:20 (BST)

Two fried eggs, bacon, fried slice and a mug of tea me dear


– Friday, August 15, 2003 at 23:52:19 (BST)

I thought that I had posted on here a few days ago to answer your question
Agnes…..however, it’s not on here, so it must be my old age interfering with
my memory. To answer, if you didn’t know what August 5 was, then it doesn’t
really matter. How have you been anyway Agnes, you’ve been awfully quiet
recently. How’s the court case?

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, August 14, 2003 at 09:41:39 (BST)

I protest, I protest. How dare some low life post messages about his
voyeuristic adventures using my name. If I had been the one watching jen and her
husband making the two backed beast, I would have had the decency to introduce
myself and ask if it was o k for me to watch and of course I would have given
advice as it was needed.Sally, I think it will be just you and me: I didn’t
realise jen was married, I never go out with a married women unless she has a
signed letters from her husband, giving her permission to dally with another.Jen,
I’m not bothered if you want Dave all to yourself or if you want to share, but
it sounds like you have your hands full enough as it is!


– Tuesday, August 12, 2003 at 15:44:56 (BST)

Jen I know you and husband did rude things in the grounds of Herstmonsuex
Castle… I was hiding in a bush watching you both, yes it was very
exciting!!!!!!!!! – However you were not the only couple at it.


– Monday, August 11, 2003 at 22:55:16 (BST)

Went to Maresfield for massage (yes the do women too). Very nice attractive
lady “Masseur” – what a relief!! Will go a again for Male
“Masseur” or perhaps A Male and Female “Masseur.


– Monday, August 11, 2003 at 22:51:33 (BST)

I went to a wedding last night at Herstmonsuex Castle and it was like the
whole of uckfield had been invited! And my husband and I did rude things in the
grounds … it was very exciting!!


– Saturday, August 09, 2003 at 21:49:29 (BST)

Dear Sir, Madam, I am french ,I am going to work in your town (at Mcdonald)
and I am looking for an accomodation in Uckfield. Could you tell me where I can
find a flat share list. Thanks very much in advance for your help.

Caroline Gualbert

– Friday, August 08, 2003

It’s what I’ve always wanted, two women fighting over me, and believe me
girls, I’m worth fighting over. Of course, you could share me, but I’m never
free on a Sunday night, that’s my tiddley-winks night.


– Thursday, August 07, 2003 at 22:32:54 (BST)

Dave, how fickle are you! I thought you were mine, now you want Sally. I am
broken hearted. 🙁


– Thursday, August 07, 2003 at 08:44:30 (BST)

Up for it, up for it, at my age Sally, you’re up for it, down for it, flying
for it, sitting down for it, in fact you’re anyway for it. Don’t do you any good
though, ‘cos you’re to bloody old for it.


– Wednesday, August 06, 2003 at 21:08:44 (BST)

Morgan, I am thinking to no avail, can I have a clue?

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, August 05, 2003 at 20:54:34 (BST)

Dave, I’ll take you round the town! I like my men aged, that is if you’re up
for it. 🙂


– Tuesday, August 05, 2003 at 18:55:18 (BST)

Joann, Congratulations! I’m sure you will make a wonderful mother. There’s
nothing like holding your newborn child in your arms for the first time. I wish
you all the best (with baby and new home). and Agnes, do you realize what day it
is today?

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, August 05, 2003 at 16:33:39 (BST)

Where ever you like jen, where ever you like.


– Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 22:05:16 (BST)

Dave, I’m just a little bit worried where you will be plugging in your jump


– Saturday, August 02, 2003 at 17:30:40 (BST)

Don’t worry about my heart jen, I’ve already had a pace maker fitted and I
will bring a 12 volt battery and jump start leads with me


– Friday, August 01, 2003 at 19:03:58 (BST)

Dave, are you sure you could handle me? it could be a big strain on your


– Friday, August 01, 2003 at 09:37:40 (BST)

What have I got to be ashamed of Jen? How about coming out with me one night
and if you are really lucky, you will feel old age creeping on.


– Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 22:57:55 (BST)

Ask if they’ll massage Gypsy Sids ego as I fear we may have hurt his
feelings?!! And ask if they do perineal massage too!


– Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 10:46:48 (BST)

Agnes, ask them if they do ‘extras’ good luck. Dave, shame on you!


– Thursday, July 31, 2003 at 09:43:04 (BST)

Ask for a price list, and is there a discount for the over 60s


– Wednesday, July 30, 2003 at 23:59:46 (BST)

I feel that it is my duty to investigate this matter so will phone the given
number in a few days time, after I have a few questions to ask them. If anyone
has any suggestions as to what I should ask, please leave them and I will make
sure I ask all the questions.ThanksAggy

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Wednesday, July 30, 2003 at 23:18:36 (BST)

Better idea, send me the number and I find out. If it’s true, I’ll do a test
run on a few of the Models and let you know how they handle going round corners.


– Wednesday, July 30, 2003 at 21:39:49 (BST)

Agnes, why don’t you phone the number and find out!


– Wednesday, July 30, 2003 at 09:31:33 (BST)

Hello.Can anyone confirm the following rumour. I have heard that a house of
ill repute has opened in Maresfield. After a little investigation, it turns out
that in the back pages of the Friday ad, there is indeed an advert for this
house under the massage escort section with an Uckfield tel number.

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 20:46:13 (BST)

To the person who had just moved from Basingstoke – Welcome! Uckfield is
currently on the up in terms of places to eat out. The ever popular Pizza
Express chain has recently opened in the high street next to the Post Office.
The food is of high quality and the restaurant is well designed with a great
outside area. There is also Simply Italian a bit further up the high street
opposite the cinema but the food there is nothing special.At the bottom of the
high street there is the Bell Walk Cafe. During the day it is a bustling cafe
serving great lunches. In the evening it turns into a restaurant and its well
worth a visit!Soon to open is a fish restaurant which is located just off the
high street. It is rumoured to be called ‘Phish’ and sounds promising!Just out
of Uckfield you have got the Nizam indian restuarant which is an excellent

Jay Hart

– Tuesday, July 29, 2003 at 15:35:52 (BST)

aaawww bless you Morgan, always nice to know I can put a smile on someone’s
face! Just realised I didn’t answer your previous question about where the term
pikey for a gypsy originated. I’m afraid I honestly don’t know, but as you said
it made you think of the fish, maybe there is some implication that fish and
gypsy’s are two of the same, haha!! maybe it’s got something to do with the
smell……….On a totally different subject, I just wanted to say that today
is an exciting day for me as I am just coming up to 30 weeks pregnant. I have
one week left of work before leaving on maternity and then plan to work full
time as a childminder when baby is six months old. We are also moving house on
9th Aug so you could say we are turning a completely new chapter in our lives
and all is going fantastically well. Just thought I’d share this happy news
seeing as some people are hell bent on making such miserable postings all the


– Friday, July 25, 2003 at 17:46:05 (BST)

Thank you Joanne, you make a tired man happy on such a rainy day. Dan,
Uckfield is a lovely place to live — at the best of times. Let me extend my
hand and welcome you to this charismatic town.

Morgan Schlitz

– Friday, July 25, 2003 at 10:29:11 (BST)

Hi all, well I’m just about to move into the town and thought I should get
the low down on what Uckfield has to offer. I have to say that I have been
sitting here reading through the posting so far, made me chuckle! Nice to see so
much intrest in the town. Bit concerned about these yellow lines however…mind
you I have just come down from Baisingstoke where you have to re-mortgage to
park on the street so shouldn’t grumble. So does any one have any top tips for
good eating places etc etc in the town? Originally from Hailsham so know Sussex,
just don’t know Uckfield that well unfortunately. Rgs. Dan

dan <dan.vince@orange.net>

– Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 23:58:49 (BST)

Agnes, what you have heard about the high street is partly true, but it isn’t
the whole high street that will be ‘no parking’ only the area on the left
(looking down the high street) outside Carvils. Its will make the traffic more
free flowing at the lights and hopefully there will be less conjestion.


– Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 09:56:49 (BST)

Sorry to ne hogging the limelight here but a message for Gypsy Sid, surely
your solicitor can only act on a statement that is untrue?

Agnes SKinner

– Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 00:00:36 (BST)

Thank you Joanne for pointing out the flaws in the Gypsy’s argument. I hear a
rumour, a very strong rumour, that Uckfield high street is to be a no parking
zone as from Jan 2004. Can anyone please confirm this?

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Wednesday, July 23, 2003 at 18:48:00 (BST)

P.S No good is an argument if hypocritical. Ask me not to judge you yet in
the same breath are calling me personally a no good poor excuse for a human
being. When exactly did I attack you in such a personal way? Oh I do long for
the day some more intelligent people join this board. Agnes, Morgan, please
write on here again soon so I know I’m not the only sane one left!!!


– Wednesday, July 23, 2003 at 09:50:20 (BST)

Oh get off your high horse you bludy wally, hahahaha!!! I was simply
explaining what the term pikey refers to. I didn’t invent the word it was
already there. Bring it on with the solicitor……..if you can afford one!!!


– Wednesday, July 23, 2003 at 09:46:45 (BST)

Common and dirty am I Joanne, how dare you, you ill mannered no good poor
excuse for a human being. You don’t know me or mine so who the hell do you think
you are to judge me so.I demand an apology, if it is not forthcoming within the
next twenty four hours I will be notifying my solicitors.

Gypsy Sid

– Tuesday, July 22, 2003 at 23:18:31 (BST)

My granddaughter keeps on referring to all the “pikes” that live in
and around Uckfield. I thought that “pike” was meant as in the fish —
shows you how much I know! How did it come to mean a gypsy then?

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, July 22, 2003 at 17:01:07 (BST)

Ha ha!! Sorry Agnes, the word “pikey” is slang terminology for
someone who is common and dirty, or can also be used to describe a gypsy. Hope
this helps!


– Tuesday, July 22, 2003 at 09:43:58 (BST)

What are you harping on about Mr G. Sid, I am even more confused now. I did a
search on google and all I could find was the link I have given which described
itself as a ‘beat em up for council scum’. It is a game which I will try to play
and will report back to tell you if it is any fun.

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 21:35:06 (BST)

A Pikey is what knights of old shoved up each others arsies

Gipsy Sid

– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 21:25:39 (BST)

Joanne, can you please explain to me what a pikey is?

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 17:59:18 (BST)

Oh dear (blush) Agnes, it was in fact you that called the Broadway a
nightclub but my insult was not aimed at you……apologies!


– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 09:46:23 (BST)

Bert, thanks for living up to my expectations!! I knew someone wouldn’t be
able to help themselves, LOL!!!! Anyway, I have many times tried to start
interesting topics…hardly my fault if people on here are too dum to respond,
it gets rather boring debating with yourself!! Agnes, the Broadway is a total
joke it’s true. It would appear from the days when I used to venture (believe me
this was a LOOOONG time ago!!), that the supposed “bouncers” were just
a load of pikey meatheads with little better to do that start the fights, not
prevent them. However, as much as I see your point about the place being a haven
for P***ed up brawls every weekend…just imagine what Uckfield streets would be
like if all the idiots suddenly found themselves with no place to go in the
evening…there has to be an alternative. Oh, and who called it a nightclub?
Please..get a grip, hahahaha!!! I think it was the same idiot who implied
brighton was too diseased to work in. The only disease I know of is caused by
all the pikey crossbreeding that goes on in Uckfield. Anyone want to carry the
debate on further on what appears to be a divide between Uckfield and brighton,
well here goes: 1. recently on the news, statistics showed that the most
intelligent people in Britain come from Brighton, 2. the musical talent,
festivals, theatre performers, charity events, eco-friendly projects speak for
themselves, 3. in comparison, bearing in mind size, more teenage crime happens
in Uckfield than in Brighton because kids in brighton are presented with many
more options and are given more chances to make something of themselves, 4.
Young people of Brighton are actually scared to go to Uckfield because all you
hear about it vandalism, drunks, and fighting, 5. The main area for violence in
Brighton is the rather too comercial “West Street” where all the
“cattle market type clubs are, and this believe it or not is the main
visiting place for out of towners such as Uckfield or Worthing. Brightonians
tend not to go there anymore because of this. I could go on all day but of
course I know I’ll be wasting my breath!! Oh and Bert, of course I have a sense
of humour mate, and I expect you’d have to with that name!!! I’m more than happy
to lighten up if everyone else does, if you really have read through all my
posts then you will see that I merely react to other people on here so I can’t
be to blame don’t ya think?


– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 09:44:27 (BST)

A sharon, I ain t got a computor so I cant email you, could you leave your
phone number and price list here. Then I can give you a ring and order what I

Pervy Pete

– Monday, July 21, 2003 at 01:14:59 (BST)

Agnes I make my money by not being a lady!!! You would not believe what the
punters expect these days, I blame it on those BBC tv documentaries. Brighton is
far to risky and one cant rely on the NHS for a cure as you are far more likely
to pick up something really nasty (and I dont mean an old pervert) in hospital
than on the Streets. I do home visits in the Uckfield area so any one requiring
a nice evening in please email me.

Sharon <gimmecash@poxdoctor.co.uk>

– Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 23:27:32 (BST)

How much has Agnes paid you to keep quite?


– Sunday, July 20, 2003 at 21:10:10 (BST)

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you all but I have been away for a few
days visiting my grandchildren. Reading the postings, it seems the general
consensus is that I tell all I know, with reference to Agnes. However, my own
solicitors has pointed out, that if I do divulge all the facts of the case, I
could well incriminate myself, this I am not prepared to do.

One Who Knows

– Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 18:36:17 (BST)

Sharon, are you a lady of the night? Well surely you would get more business
in Brighton?

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Saturday, July 19, 2003 at 13:50:11 (BST)

Leave the Broadway alone this is where I earn my living, if the club closed I
would have to go to B’ton and run an increased risk of disease


– Friday, July 18, 2003 at 21:06:06 (BST)

I have looked back at Joannes previous postings and not one is constructive,
in fact she is either complaining or making snidey comments. Why not post
something here of interest Joanne rather than relying on others. As for Agnes
and her little problem it is obvious, as you are the only one to complain, the
majority of people here do not find the subject boring. Joanne find a sence of
humour, get a life and try posting something of interest ….. if you can


– Friday, July 18, 2003 at 21:02:36 (BST)

I live in Uckfiled and this site does not appear to show the real essence of
Uckfield, More links should direct visitors to the images of the festivals, and
buildings in Uckfiled, from Jack in Ridgewood (South of Uckfield)

Jack Dann <jackdann1@hotmail.com>

– Friday, July 18, 2003 at 20:43:16 (BST)

Joanne, I agree, lets have a constructive discussion, lets perhaps have a
chat about…….????? Oh, I know, lets talk about the Broadway nightclub, I for
one think it should lose it’s licence due to the amount of noise and violence it

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Friday, July 18, 2003 at 17:33:59 (BST)

Oh for crying out loud all of you, either spit it out what Agnes has done or
shut up going on about it…very boring. Uckfield needs help, and all you lot
are doing is portraying it as even more boring and insignificant than it already
is. Why don’t you use this site more productively, promote local events, proper
topical discussions, debates, contact with friends? This board would be great
for people to voice their opinions on the things that matter, but pretty much
most of what I’ve seen on this board in the last year has been one person
bitching about another. First it was Mr Skinner, then anyone who (god forbid!!)
may have a slightly poor word to say about this town (in most cases justified),
and now for the last few weeks all everyone’s done is ramble on about Agnes. You
know you should all be thinking about the kind of reputation you are giving the
people of Uckfield, because if you read through these pages, you would thin
Uckfield is just a small boring town, with small boring people who have nothing
better to do than p*** and moan about each other. Now what’s the bet someone
replies to this with a snidey remark instead of taking it on board and saying
something constructive for once?…………..


– Friday, July 18, 2003 at 13:53:08 (BST)

Bert, thank you for your condolances. You’re right to a certain degree about
friends, however the reason why we were such close friends is because we talked
to each other frequently. That’s what you kids today are forgetting how to do
properly — all this “texting” business and emails. Well, that’s how
we stayed friends for so long. I’m not worried by what Agnes did, you should
have known her in her younger years!!! Boy, do I have a few stories to tell!!!!

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, July 17, 2003 at 22:23:42 (BST)

let’ have it “one who knows” so that we can judge for ourselves
whether or not Agnes’ doings are permissable.


– Thursday, July 17, 2003 at 17:37:05 (BST)

I for one am sick and tired of people ridiculing me for something I did in
the good interest of honest Uckfield citizen’s. I think I should actually tell
everyone, if it were not for the fact my solicitor has told me to shun any
publicity until after the case, I would jolly well give you the full details.

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 23:07:33 (BST)

To “One Who Knows”. There is to much negative information on this
site and within Uckfield and I for one think it will serve no good purpose to
divulge any more details of what Agnes did. In extreme circumstances, and I
believe this to be one, it is sometimes best to keep detailed knowledge within
the small circle of us that know the truth. I think the consequences for
Uckfield would be far to damaging for you to divulge anything here.


– Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 22:58:46 (BST)

I for one would like to know the truth, but would like some idea as to what
the truth is referring to?

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, July 16, 2003 at 17:10:44 (BST)

I think it’s time for the truth to come out, if enough posters request, I am
willing to tell.

One who Knows

– Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 22:22:49 (BST)

From the positive posts regarding Agnes I assume many of you have found it in
your hearts to forgive her. I am afraid I cant, Ive tried and tried but I just
cant do it, each time I think of what she did I burst into tears.


– Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 17:30:23 (BST)

Why does everyone have to bitch on here all the time?


– Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 10:55:37 (BST)

Dear Aggie,You should ignore anything that the ‘triple barrel’ lady? writes.
It sounds to me as if she is trying to live a life that does not exsist! She is
just a very sad person who’s real life is SO boring that she has to make one up
for herself. We should give her our pity.I hope you are well and not letting
things get to you too much … you know you have our support and best wishes.


– Tuesday, July 15, 2003 at 08:30:25 (BST)

As were mine, the difference was ‘lady’ that they were all by the same man.
If rumours are true, on Fathers day, your children have to send 4 fathers day
cards each.

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 23:53:00 (BST)

Did I touch a nerve Agnes? True, I have been married a numbers of times, but
at least I have been married and all My Children were born within Wedlock

Lady Bouwels-Boughton-Smithers

– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 23:20:25 (BST)

Lady Bouwels-Boughton-Smithers, I think that your triple barrel name speaks
for itself, you must be the only triple barrelled person living on manor park
estate except for all the newly born Dathaniel Ferrari-Beckham-Eminems. I
suggest you please go back to watching Eastenders and coronation street along
with drinking blue nun wine and try to pick on someone with whom you have a
chance of winning against. I am guessing here but imagine your triple barrelled
surname relates to the fact that you can not hold down a marriage?

Agnes Skinner <aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk>

– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 22:53:51 (BST)

I think Agnes should be given her own “phone in” programme on the
radio. What a nice change it would be to have someone who says things as they
are without even considering being politically correct


– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 22:46:13 (BST)

Agnes Skinner, how you have the nerve to post on this forum I will never
know. After what you did to that poor, poor, no, it is so degrading I cannot
bring myself to type the words. Take heed, listen to a Lady, hang your head in
shame, stay in your hovel, keep quite and out of sight for a year or so and
then, perhaps, the good people of Uckfield will forgive, though we will never
forget what you did to that poor, poor,…

Lady Bouwels-Boughton-Smithers

– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 21:16:49 (BST)

I would just like to thank whoever it was that asked to say a ‘hello’ to me
on Uckfield FM. It really made my day. I think the radio station is superb and
entertaining and has lots of news about Uckfield in general. Keep up the good

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, July 14, 2003 at 18:47:55 (BST)

Jen, not snide comments – just fact


– Saturday, July 12, 2003 at 23:06:26 (BST)

All these snide commens about the police are uncalled for and they are not
coming from the ‘law abiding’ people of Uckfield.


– Friday, July 11, 2003 at 08:30:29 (BST)

Morgan, sorry to hear your friend has passed away but how wondefull to have
kept in touch all those years. Isn’t it funny how a true friend always remains a
friend no matter how far away or how little you see one another. Take care
Morgan and please keep posting messages. As for Aggie, well what is to become of


– Thursday, July 10, 2003 at 22:26:01 (BST)

Bert, I’m not so sure — I was implying that someone used my name on July 2
saying that I was worried. I know that it couldn’t have been me because I was in
the States for the funeral of a wonderful friend that I made in the Airforce
during WWII. We stayed in touch all these years. Anyway, whatever it was that
our Aggie did, she will be redeemed.

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, July 10, 2003 at 19:59:41 (BST)

Morgan yes you are correct, you did find something worrying on the 2nd July.
Perhaps it was the thought of Agnes wrong doing/s. Please dont worry about
criminals as here in Uckfield they are easily recognisable by the blue uniforms
and blue lights on the roof of their cars


– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 23:25:26 (BST)

Well it just goes to prove the police force was just as corrupt twelve years
ago when Paul Denham was an officer as it is now. Sadly Paul has carried his
corrupt and lying ways from the police force into his private life, the evidence
shows Agnes to be guilty yet Paul claims otherwise. Agnes would be well advised
to maintain her distance from this man and should remember a Police Officer
version of truth is what ever brings the fastest promotion

Henrietta Hendrik

– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 23:19:31 (BST)

Whats all this bull about seting up campain to save that ole whitch Aggness,
if any off us teenagers did whot she did you would all be screeming for us to be
banged up, I knows, just cos I nicked a tew bottles of vodga and fags from
tescoes they got the pigs in and ive got to appear in court, theyre bang me
upfor sure and ive only been picked up 55 time before, it aint fair. Lock her up
I says and so dos my mates.


– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 20:55:15 (BST)

Just to say that the last message had an incorrect email address, the email
address for the Save our Agnes campaign is saveagnes2003@yahoo.co.uk thanks.

Paul Delam

– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 13:12:07 (BST)

Good day to you all,Please let me introduce myself, my name is Paul Delam and
I am a retired policeman. For the last 12 years, I have been an active fundraser
for good causes. I feel that I have to make a stand and start a ‘Save our Agnes’
campaign as she is a women with morals and concern for her local community. I am
not asking for donations but I think Agnes needs as much publicity as is
possible, as this will help residents realise that she had their interests at
heart. If any of you have met Agnes, you will know that while she is very strong
willed, she is starting to feel her age (88) and does not really need the
aggrevation that she is currently receiving. I for one am happy to speak on her
behalf to any local newspapers or media that may be interested in our campaign
and would implore them to contact us.I have spoken to Aggy about this yet she
wishes, at present to remain as anonymous as possible. Sure as eggs are eggs,
when the court day comes, she will walk out into a blaze of glory, and it would
be nice if we could hold some sort of party or social occasion where we could
all meet Agnes and perhaps have a chat about Uckfield in general.So, if any of
you have any media contacts, however small or big, please get them to contact me
at saveagnes@yahoo.co.uk if anyone wants to contact agnes direct, mail her at
aggyskinner@yahoo.co.uk as she gets a bit lonely during the day now she is
unable to go out for fear of reprisals.

Paul Delam Police officer (retired)

– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 13:00:34 (BST)

What did you find that was worrying Morgan? Anyway, I stand by my actions and
trust justice will be done when I meet my maker. Alberto, it is for exactly the
reason that I DO care about Uckfield residents that I did what I had to do.
Hetty, you have now confused me, did I lend you £150? Can I have it back then
please? Thanks.

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, July 09, 2003 at 12:42:12 (BST)

Joanne stop moaning and post something interesting yourself. Agnes after what
you did I just hope you do not criticise Uckfields teenagers, what sort of
example are you setting in doing what you did – have you no consideration for
the other residents of Uckfield and the shame we now feel


– Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 23:53:53 (BST)

You know, Aggie, I had a really strange dream that you deliberatlely broke
public property, ran from the police but you still ended up in jail! I’m
starting to wonder if that was really a dream… Correct me if I’m wrong, my
memory fails me at my age and it appears that I found something very worrying
July 2.

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 21:40:55 (BST)

Agnes I applaud what you, it took a lot of courage, even that nice policeman
said so as he arrested you. Don’t worry, I told the police I didn’t see a thing,
oh by the way Agnes, I’m sure you meant to give me that £150, not just loan it
to me.


– Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 20:55:57 (BST)

My oh my, what did I do. I just want to say that for those who know me,
surely you must understand why I did what I did and I am sure that secretly you
applaud me. I have no issues with my actions and will stand by them as long as I
live. Someone has to make a stand, it is a shame that it had to be a frail old
women like me. I will keep you updated.Regards Uckfield,Agnes – 88.

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 17:52:12 (BST)

Does no one ever have anything interesting to talk about on here? jesus, oh
and Vicky and Julie, you pair of bitches, you both need to die before any of our
elderly do. bitchy comments like yours in the world, we can well do without.


– Tuesday, July 08, 2003 at 13:38:31 (BST)

I should think Edith already wets the bed, most old people do, that’s why
I’m in favour of euthanasia and by the sound of it, Edith is a prime candidate.

Vicky Stover

– Monday, July 07, 2003 at 00:38:31 (BST)

Edith, don’t take any notice of Julie she is a nasty uncaring woman! If you
want to upset the guards just keep wetting yourself, then they will have to do
some work for a change instead of sitting on their backsides drinking tea!


– Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 23:29:09 (BST)

Edith, it is your own fault that you are in an old peoples home, if you had
done the decent thing and died before you became a burden to your family, you
would not be in the situation you are now.


– Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 22:55:14 (BST)

Hello every body. My name is Edith and I live in a Residential care home
because I am 84 and my family can not be bothered with me all except my
grandauaghter Billy who gave me this computing screen and showed me what to do.
No doubt when I die the family will be interested in what I have left them but
they will be disapointed. The care home is more like a concentration camp with
lots of silly rules and regulations, the food is rotten and the careers down
right cruel. I do my best to be as awrkwood and cause as much trouble as
possible, if any one has any ideas how to annoy the guards please let me know.
Ta ta for now Edith

Edith Hamilton

– Sunday, July 06, 2003 at 22:39:52 (BST)

Agnes how could you


– Saturday, July 05, 2003 at 23:41:29 (BST)

Vicky, not being a gossip I am afraid I can not divulge anything. I am sure
this is the position of every one else here


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 22:49:01 (BST)

Very worrying, very worrying indeed


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 22:46:24 (BST)

Please, someone, anyone, please tell us, what has Agnes done?


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 22:43:41 (BST)

Agnes Skinner is no longer welcome in my house. The law must run it’s course.
And I for one will not visit.

Lady Bouwels-Boughton-Smithers

– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 21:28:56 (BST)

I remember Agnes from years past. In those days she would never done anything
like that, in fact she would have probably done quite the reverse. I blame the
lack of discipline with todays children resulting in behaviour that is
permutating throughout society including older residents, you only have to look
as far as our Queen God bless her


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 18:41:36 (BST)

What a sad sad state of affairs. What Agnes has done has upset me no end,
even Dougal cant believe it and although he is putting on a brave face for my
sake I know he is in deep shock. Where will this all end and what will be the
repercussion for Uckfield.


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 18:41:29 (BST)

I remember Agnes from years past. In those days she would never done anything
like that, in fact she would have probably done quite the reverse. I blame the
lack of discipline with todays children resulting in behaviour that is
permutating throughout society including older residents, you only have to look
as far as our Queen God bless her


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 16:57:00 (BST)

I feel very sorry for Agnes, however, it is entirly her own fault, my husband
was with me when it happened.


– Wednesday, July 02, 2003 at 00:01:46 (BST)

Agnes Skinner who would have believed it, what a thing to go and do at her
age. I suppose one would not have been surprised if she were a teenager, what do
you think is going to happen now?


– Tuesday, July 01, 2003 at 22:39:38 (BST)

At her age too.


– Tuesday, July 01, 2003 at 20:52:26 (BST)

I was very sorry to hear about poor old Agnes Skinner, very sad. Whom would
have though that a nice old lady like her, could have done such a thing.

Joan Williamson

– Tuesday, July 01, 2003 at 18:34:22 (BST)

Paul has decided he will use the front door when he’s in the mood.


– Monday, June 30, 2003 at 20:43:55 (BST)

My friend Paul says, piles only occur, if one’s backdoor is neglected


– Monday, June 16, 2003 at 20:29:48 (BST)

Clarence, I think your remedy is a little harsh but I am off to Greens as we
speak to buy some hosepipe.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, June 16, 2003 at 08:35:11 (BST)

Agnes if I may be so bold – piles are caused by little animals digging
tunnels just under the surface and pushing up little piles every so often. One
treatment is to stick a hose pipe in the hole and turn the water full on,
another is to stuff an exploding firework in the hole and yet another is to seek
advice from a profesional. A Dahlia stuck in the hole is considered by some to
be most attractive. Trust this advice brings relief


– Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 22:18:20 (BST)

Jon, sorry, forgot to say, if we are all 16k plebs, I think the MD at TR
Fastenings is underpaid, but maybe, just maybe Jon, he earns more than you so
your arguement is totally floored and ill constructed.On a lighter note, has
anyone any idea what I can do to get a remedy for piles?

Agnes Skinner

– Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 23:28:03 (BST)

Jon,Sometime ago, you came here under another alias mooting the same tripe.
Are you this insecure that you need to come back? Please Jon, get therapy.Lynda,
I am not encouraging an affair, how do you know their are children involved, you
seem to be speaking from experience!

Agnes Skinner

– Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 23:25:38 (BST)

Hi Becka


– Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 23:14:27 (BST)

Sally, Sue is referring to my Husband!


– Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 23:13:29 (BST)

Lynda, I don’t for one second think that Agnes is trying to encourage
anything except friendship, and it seems as though Agnes is speaking from
experience. Perhaps Agnes has been heartbroken in the past? or is Agnes trying
to say something to someone else that she’s thinking of them? Besides, perhaps
it is a female companion that Sueis referring to.


– Thursday, June 12, 2003 at 13:08:59 (BST)

Uckfield – what a cesspit of inhumanity. The place should have been
demolished years ago, eliminating all life’s £16k a year plebs in the process.


– Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 23:29:25 (BST)

hi tom


– Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 16:20:10 (BST)

a lot of nice guys enter by the back door


– Wednesday, June 11, 2003 at 14:09:53 (BST)

Agnes Skinner why are you encouraging an affair. How would you like it if
this Sue had been carrying on with your husband. What about the children?


– Tuesday, June 10, 2003 at 22:55:51 (BST)

Sweet Sue, whom is it you are missing sweetheart? I am sure they are still
your friend but have just not had the opportunity to speak to you recently. I am
sure, whoever they are, their thoughts are with you at the moment.

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, June 10, 2003 at 20:01:27 (BST)

Oh, lighten up!!, LOL!!!


– Tuesday, June 10, 2003 at 15:33:10 (BST)

Joanne, I am surprised you read something so crude in to my posting. Such
thoughts young lady are best kept to yourself


– Sunday, June 08, 2003 at 22:05:39 (BST)

Sarah, stop trying to wind people up by saying the Police are doing a good
job when the opposite is true. You must have some connection with the Police or
perhaps the council to come out with rubbish like that. All the Police are
interested in is taking the easy way out by targeting the law abiding
particularly when it comes to the motorist, as for fighting crime forget it. As
Ethel rightly says the Police precept has increased by some 50% but what do we
get in return for our money …… more speed cameras and “spin”
telling us how well they are doing their job. Do they really think we beleive
them, hasnt it crossed there tiny little narrow minds that the reason they are
loosing the support of ‘middle England’ is we are fed up with their inability to
fight real crime.


– Sunday, June 08, 2003 at 22:01:45 (BST)

Just a hello to a very special friend in Uckfield. We made a promise we would
always be friends. Missing you and hoping you are happy and well.

Sweet Sue From NY

– Friday, June 06, 2003 at 23:10:43 (BST)

You must have a mind like a sewer Joanne, there is nothing gay about my
friend Paul, in fact, he has no sense of humour.


– Friday, June 06, 2003 at 22:25:10 (BST)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounded to me like jeremy was trying to carry
on with Alice’s joke? Alice, you said your friend enters by the back door which
implies a certain “gayness” perhaps, which would explain Jeremy’s
reply? Think about it! then again, if I’m completely wrong, then both of you
feel free to ignore me haha!!!!!


– Friday, June 06, 2003 at 15:10:43 (BST)

One things for sure Jeremy, my friend Paul would not be interested in
visiting you, you sound very bitchy.


– Friday, June 06, 2003 at 00:12:54 (BST)

Ethel, the cctv cameras help the police arrest offenders which must be a good
thing. I think they are doing a good job already. The cameras are being paid for
by the police, local business and the town council. They are not there to take
the place of officers, just to assist them.


– Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 23:08:02 (BST)

Alice, when your friend Paul enters by the back door I bet he is not visiting


– Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 01:09:48 (BST)

CCTV is yet another excuse for the police to get out off enforcing the law.
If the Police actually carried out their duties correctly there would be no need
for cameras. Bearing in mind the Police precept is up by 50% surely they now
have sufficant funds to carry out more patrols of the town. Who is paying for
the CCTV?


– Thursday, June 05, 2003 at 01:08:03 (BST)

Dear Agnes, the cctv that you want is coming very soon, so hopefully it will
make the people of Uckfield feel a lot safer on the streets and stop all this
mindless vandalism that we get. PS: How was your holiday in Spain?


– Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 23:48:55 (BST)

My friend Paul always enters by the back door.


– Wednesday, June 04, 2003 at 22:46:08 (BST)

Dear Sarah,I was just repeating what I had read in the Sussex Express. It is
true, I do not really know what I am talking about and do agree that a council
should be more democratic if all parties are sitting on it.I just think that
there was an awful lot of fuss and there is no smoke without fire. Surely a
fairer way for Uckfield, as these people are there to represent us, would have
been to put the vote to us? It seems that by chumming up, they have got on the
board where they would not normally have been, this is what I meant by back
door. Anyway, lets hope that whoever they are, they work hard to improve
Uckfield, hopefully with CCTV!

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, June 02, 2003 at 17:34:45 (BST)

Greetings from Vienna!

dina <dina@thomasdina47.webmastercandy.net>

sunnyvale, ca USA – Monday, June 02, 2003 at 14:53:18 (BST)

Agnes, I know you mean well, but you really don’t know what you are talking
about. The process was 100% legal and above board, they did not come in ‘by the
back door’ they contacted the council and were duely voted on by the majority of
councillors. I think it is wonderful that Labour and conservitives can agree
with each other, surely it proves that they are there for the right reasons and
not just to promote their own party, unlike the LibDems seem to want to do.


– Sunday, June 01, 2003 at 23:45:35 (BST)


419 <419.com>

– Saturday, May 31, 2003 at 05:44:39 (BST)

I agree Beth, talent indeed. Must be the most funny song/cartoon on the


– Friday, May 30, 2003 at 22:27:39 (BST)

Just a great site, thanks!

gail <gail@gailsmith6862.yoursector.com>

richmond, va USA – Friday, May 30, 2003 at 16:30:21 (BST)

I have just listened to the Rodney Carrington song. Talent from an Uckfield
resident, what ever next?


– Thursday, May 29, 2003 at 22:43:01 (BST)

It seems that this fuss about the elections is justified. I have read in the
Sussex express that the fairest thing to do would be for the mentioned people to
stand down and then make themselves available for election under the normal
democratic process. As for Labour and Conservatives chumming together, I have a
problem understanding this. Are the lib dems really that bad? They seem to do
much for Uckfield which is unseen and at least they believe in democracy. I
think the mentioned people should feel ashamed coming in the backdoor as they
have and that the people of uckfield have the RIGHT to demand the process is
above board and transparrent. Morgan, I also read that article and think that if
anyone is having problems with debt they should try to do something about it as
soon as possible by visiting their bank or local citizen’s advice bureau.

Agnes Skinner

– Sunday, May 25, 2003 at 17:44:50 (BST)

I agree with you Sarah, I met Ian Nottage on the night of the elections and
he is a complete nutter. ‘Banana’ really suits him or maybe ‘prat-in-a-hat’


– Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 22:02:22 (BST)

Hi Morgan, my debt is not X 14 but X 17. You obviously have no debt so how
about a loan. I have the impression you are a senior citizen so why not run up a
huge debt on anything you fancy and simply dont repay any of it – what can the
lenders do about that??


– Friday, May 23, 2003 at 22:11:50 (BST)

What a fuss in the local papers about the town council, I think the LibDems
are making themselves look really childish the way they are behaving, I think
the phrase ‘throwing their toys out of the playpen’ applies here! I have known
Ian and Linda for many years (I have never met Margaret) and they are both very
committed to Uckfield, both have served on the council for a lot of years and
they give their time freely and willingly without always trying o get their
names in the local press. I had no idea which parties they supported until I
read it this week in the papers. Unlike the Libdems who manage to get the words
‘libdem’ in every sentence. It’s time people like Nottage and Whittaker
concentrated on the matters in hand rather than using their time writing press


– Friday, May 23, 2003 at 11:33:09 (BST)

Did Rodney Carrington really come from Uckfield? He has an American accent. I
thought the song was so funny


– Friday, May 23, 2003 at 00:29:27 (BST)

I just heard about a report which was recently published that a large section
of the UK population is spiralling into uncontrollable debt. The amount some
people owe is nearly 14 times their monthly income! This surely can’t be true
here? Can it?

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, May 22, 2003 at 21:56:27 (BST)

ooops, that should have read ‘arguing’ sorry.

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 23:31:20 (BST)

Hello, why has it all gone so quiet? Are people taking a deep breath before
they start argueing again?

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, May 21, 2003 at 23:28:59 (BST)

Forget “Washboard Dave”, Uckfields most famous son is Rodney
Carrington who was recently awarded the Queens award to industry for excellence
in both popular and classical music. Rodney is a decent chap who is proud of his
origins and of Uckfield. Click on the link below and go directly to his website

Uckfields Rodney Carrinton Website

– Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 23:39:13 (BST)

If you click on my name at the end of this message it takes you to a rather
nice cartoon and ditty. Wait for the cowboy to sing.


– Saturday, May 17, 2003 at 02:11:47 (BST)

Is there any truth in the rumour that Washboard Dave is a transvestite, who
is saving up for the operation?


– Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 23:48:12 (BST)

People of Uckfield are soooo argumentative and defensive. Alison, I made a
very simple joke about Bush giving me nightmares, now calm yourself girl before
you do yourself a stress related injury!!!!


– Thursday, May 15, 2003 at 09:13:11 (BST)

I have recently discovered this website as I intended to visit Uckfield in
the near future. I guess the “Dave” is the only person of any real
standing and fame to have lived in Uckfield and that is the reason in your all
consuming interest in him. It saddens me that you are so fascinated by a man who
is so obviously the lowest form of humanity, I was raised to believe the English
had strength of character but now I am not so sure

Courtney Broomes

– Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 23:26:42 (BST)

Joanne, would you rather we were alined with Europe (god help us) or America?
The UK has been lied to and cheated by Europe, particularly the french, since
that rather unpleasant traitor Ted Heath took us into what was then the common
market. Since then we have have lost our fishing industry, our steel industry
and goodness knows what else; we are over run with economic migrants, our courts
are over ruled by the european courts who consider everyone guilty untill proved
innocent and for this we pay the EU £ billions each year. Yes the Bush
administration is ‘hawkish’ but could Saddam have been left in power much
longer, murdering tens of thousands of his own people each year, without
something being done? If the UK and ultimately the US had done nothing in
respect of Hitler and co you would be speaking German now, that is if your grand
parents / parents had not been gassed, incinerated and the fat from their
corpses used to manufacture tallow. Apeasement just doesn’t work – look at


– Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 23:17:17 (BST)

one more thing….is it me or does Marie-Elise’s posting start of with very
bad grammar, hence immitating the dyslexia claim, then towards the end turn into
perfectly good English?………mmmmm………………….


– Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 14:13:30 (BST)

Agnes, I have looked forward to your return to hear your comments on the
“Dave”!! I too am bored with the whole thing now but you know what
it’s like when you have to have the last word!!!!Anyway, Kerri, no no no, please
don’t scare me with any ideas of joining the US anymore than we need to (Bush
gives me nightmares!!):-)


– Wednesday, May 14, 2003 at 09:35:46 (BST)

Agnes, did you have a nice time in Spain? hope you used plenty of sun
block.As for the poster who said we will be ruled by the frogs and crouts …
that will never happen, I think we should become part of the United States, at
least they speak English.


– Tuesday, May 13, 2003 at 00:01:47 (BST)

Agnes I like the colour of the speed camera, it reminds me very much of the
native daffodil that is now in decline. Before I retired many years ago as
headmistress of a girls grammar school there was a small wood adjacent to the
school full of ‘Worsworths’ daffodils. The speed camera brings back so mant
memories of better times

Mabel Cook

– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 23:59:41 (BST)

Agnes, I couldn’t agree more. I have visited the site and quite frankly it is
an absolute disgrace. I strongly suggest Ladies do not follow Eugenes advice and
visit the so called Ericas pages


– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 23:50:45 (BST)

You being unaware of English peasants, I amndt dyslexic. I cuts difficulty in
writing in the English therefore I posted the message in my native language ‘
FRENCH’ Uckfield is has most unpleasant and backward place drank soon it will
form share of the Northern European Sector with administration from Calais. The
FRENCH and GERMAN alliance will soon rule your grubby little island


– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 23:46:49 (BST)

Oh pleeeease stop harping on about the Mr David, it seems you are pointlessly
promoting his site now and it is all a bit tedious. If it really were the
highest visited not for profit site on the net, you would not have to advertise
it quite so frequently. I am sure Mr David would not appreciate you boring us so
much with this shameless promotion if he really is such a clever man. Do you
talk about anything else apart from Mr David? What do you think about the new
speed camera in town?

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 22:55:35 (BST)

Joanne, how have you arrived at the conclusion that the site is a huge joke?
You obviously did NOT follow the link – http://www.bilbobaggins.fsnet.co.uk/erica.html
– to Ericas site. I suggest you do before jumping to conclusions

Eugene Winstanley

– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 22:51:54 (BST)

Can spell just can’t type!!!!


– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 16:16:31 (BST)

Marie -Elise’ s posting is, in my opinion a complete hoax. Her grasp of the
Frenck language is awful and it sounds just like a bad translation direct from
English!! If it is genuine, then I strongly feel that she should dedicate some
of her time to learning her native language as opposed to criticising
others!!!!!!!! PS – have been catching up on proceedings as I haven’t posted for
a while. Thanks for the ‘potted history’ of Washboard Dave – I didn’t know who
he was either!!!!!


– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 13:46:32 (BST)

ok ok ok so this whole escapade has in fact been one HUGE
joke………..right? As if people would pay £1200.00 for the privelage to
sin………can’t believe I actually nearly fell for it being a serious site! HA


– Monday, May 12, 2003 at 13:45:03 (BST)

I agree with Eugene and first time poster, the site is a delight to visit, it
goes from the sublime to the ridicules and in between, there is a grate deal to
make you think.I strongly recommend a visit.


– Saturday, May 10, 2003 at 20:31:02 (BST)

Sorry folks but I do not think you are giving Washboard Dave (aka The Late
Sainted Davids) Website a fair viewing. After all his family live in Uckfield
and he spends a large part of his time in our town. If you enter his website on
this web address: http://www.bilbobaggins.fsnet.co.uk/link1.html – you will skip
the first page and be able to follow the links to all parts of the site. Erica
der Engineers link will be of interest to all the ladies, while the link to
Andrew The Apostle will be provide fascinating information on the Island of
Trisan Du Cuna, regular readers here may remember Andrews Church of Fruitfull
Alliance is attempting to obtain outline planning consent for a huge meeting
hall in Uckfield. If you click on my name you will be taken directly to the
website and then you will be able to see for yourself.

Eugene Winstanley

– Friday, May 09, 2003 at 22:39:47 (BST)

Although I am a first time poster, I have followed the varying
discussion/arguments posted on this board for a year or so, sometimes they make
me laugh, cry or very angry. However, the point I would like to make is this:
why has this character Wash Board Dave stirred up such a hornet’s nest? It
seems you ether love him or hate him, he must be terrifically charismatic, is he
a Billy Graham or a Rasputin? Why is it Graham only quotes from postings that
deride him? Not one quote from those postings that support him, I think you are
biased Graham. Having sometime to spare this afternoon I followed the URL link
posted into Wash Boards site, and unlike Joanne, I did not leave after a cursory
glance at the first page. True this Dave is known on the site as The Late
Sainted David and if Joanna had gone into the site she would have found out why.
Nowhere within the site is there any suggestion, other than a general plea for
voluntary contributions, as you would find in any church, that one has to pay
any fees to continue through the site. I saw the old gentleman on his web cam,
free of charge, working at his desk, he was surrounded by books, papers and
documents, and hanging on the wall of his obvious study were a number of gold
discs. I found the site to be extremely authortive, educational, helpful, in
places funny, and above all very non-judgmental. I would recommend that anyone,
before forming an opinion of the site and The Late Sainted David, should visit
the site, you will be pleasantly surprised.

A Reader

– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 19:33:26 (BST)

Dare I say, Luther, that you are one of Washboard Dave’s devoted followers
that at every post you do you must refer to him in some way? Is this some sort
of Charles Manson cult? ~~~only we can save you~~~ phul-easeeeee!


– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 16:23:45 (BST)

So I did a silly thing and dared to open the below mentioned website, The
Divine Church of Streetism or whatever. I only got as far as the opening page
when instinct and alarm bells came through ten to the dozen. There is a picture
of some self loving man waving his arms in the air (I assume this is the oh so
famous Dave?), and a list of options such as “subscirbing to the streetcam”.
Please, this is terrible, do people really truly believe this codswallop? surely
not. It is religious exploitation at it’s very poorest. At least all my
questions have now been answered as to who is behind the mysterious (and rather
stupid) name of “Washboard Dave!!I will sleep easy at night now knowing
that by paying this subject no more attention, I will not be missing out on
anything either exciting, or in the slightest bit worthwhile!!!!!!!!


– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 15:42:45 (BST)

Does anyone else feel that this Luther and the creepy Dave characters are
pulling some sort of publicity stunt in order to gain attention? Or is it just

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 13:13:39 (BST)

hhhmmm…interesting!!! I dread to think what inspired the name “Dead
Cats Guts”, anyone know?!


– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 12:23:51 (BST)

Agnes, ‘Daves’ website is called the Devine Church of Streetism and the web
address is www.bilbobaggins.fsnet.co.uk/ – Dave is known, on the website as the
“Late Sainted David”!!!! The site has a link to a true church
“Andrews Church of Fruitful Alliance” founded by Andrew the Apostle –
the history of the foundation of this church is most interesting

Mrs Willy

– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 11:46:57 (BST)

Joanne, do not believe a word of Luthers post in respect of Washboard Dave.
Luther is in fact Washboards minder: the following two posts detail Washboards
main “qualities” – (1) “”However Washboard Dave was born and
still lives part of the year in Uckfield. Due to Daves noteriety (drug crime,
extorsion, internet scams including corrupt ‘churches’) his family in Uckfield
keep quite about being related to him. You should be able to tell when Washboard
Dave is in town due to the increased Police presence!”” – (2)
“” Please take extreme care if you intend to have anything to do with
WashBoard Dave, the ex front man of the 1950’s group “Dead Cats Guts”
His so called church is a nasty cult and is very much involved in Devil Worship
and Voodoo. Unusualy the ‘church’ is aimed at the elderly rather than younger
members of society with the main aim appearing to be inciting anachy against any
form of progression or change, for example a group of south coast senior
citizens were organised into a vigalante group that terrorised the proprietor of
a computer shop and ultimately caused thousand of pounds worth of damage. The
propretor of the shop has since suffered a total mental breakdown and has been
judged unfit to give supporting evidence in court to support prosecution of the
offending senior citizens. Washboard Dave is supported by his sister, who has
served prison sentences for fraud, embezzlement and assault, together with a
chap known as Paul Modernator. Please take as my Aunty Edith became a member of
this ‘church’ and suffered financial losses resulting in the loss of her


– Thursday, May 08, 2003 at 11:39:02 (BST)

I am having problems sleeping tonight and thought I would have a look…. I
also am interested as to why Mr Dave has so much bad press, why is he the victim
of so much anger? And is his website really so popular? How many visitors does
it get?

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, May 07, 2003 at 23:19:48 (BST)

Potted biography, Wash Board Dave.Born at an early age, 2 sisters, 1 brother
but sisters and Wash Board prefer to keep quite about him, ever family has one.
Early 50s, Dave, with 3 friends, starts skiffle group, becomes very successful,
number of records in top 10. Mid 50s, tours the States, meets Momma Deborah,
accompanies her on her first platinum disc, still friends to this day. Dave gets
involved with married pop star whilst in the states, her husband, a top record
producer at the time, has Dave black balled, he returned to England. Did one
more tour, made one more record, and then disappeared.Un-be-known to his fans
and general public, he went into retreat, after months of deep meditation he
started a movement to help those who have fallen in to a sinful live style and
wish to recant and start a new live.This movement is now world wide with
millions of members. Dave, with help from some of his devoted followers, now
runs the largest non-profit making web site on the net, for those of you who
need moral guidance and help to break away from your addiction to sin.Those who
know him love him for the goodly man they know him to be. Those who lie and
slander him, have never meet him and are afraid that if they ever do, their
dissolute lives will be held up to their friends and family for scrutinyHope
this helps


– Wednesday, May 07, 2003 at 20:55:48 (BST)

Without me having to trail through all the old posts on here, please can
someone enlighten me on who Washboard Dave is exactly????????? It would appear
that everyone feels strongly about him one way or another, and what is all this
about mugging young people??? I have tried my hardest not to follow but now
intrigue and curiosity has gotten the better of me!!!!! Ta 🙂


– Wednesday, May 07, 2003 at 10:39:17 (BST)

Sex and Violence

Robert Mugabe

– Wednesday, May 07, 2003 at 10:31:25 (BST)

Oh you poor, poor people of Uckfield, how you need my help, hatred permeates
throughout the very essence of this forum: neighbour against neighbour, man
against man, women against women, and the young mocking the old. Remember my
friends, Sodom and Gomorra, repent before it is to late.Follow my ‘’Word’
and love your neighbours, please, no more hatred, only messages of love and
contentment and then we can all live in harmony and forget the wars of the past.

The Late Sainted David

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 23:12:23 (BST)

Dear Marie-Élise,It seems strange that you are here, posting in your native
language when many people here will not understand french. It seems slightly
cowardly that insults you have should be sent in another language but as we have
all recently seen, French politicians are cheese eating surrender monkeys and it
seems to be rubbing of on you.Joanne, I thank you for your civil comments and
too apologise unreservedly for my rude comments when I actually know nothing
about you. I am sure that we can now have a decent debate!

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 23:09:54 (BST)



– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 22:53:39 (BST)

J’ai visité Uckfield dedans pendant l’été de 2002 et l’ai trouvé pour
être smelly un village sale plein d’être ennuyeux et ai mal habillé des
personnes. Vos petits enfants méchants doivent être worsed comporté en tout
de l’Europe. Bidon l’anglais ne pas faire quelque chose sans Américains
arrogants, ici en France nous nous tenons sur nos propres deux pieds.


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 21:53:00 (BST)

Luther, Washboard Dave as you rightly stated is well over 60 but looks at
least 15 years older. His comments regarding the over 60’s is based on his own
debauched life style, he admits to secretly drinking at least one bottle of R
Whites and consuming 3 WB’s EVERY day. Four weeks ago he was arrested for
mugging five 19 to 20 year olds, stealing their mobile phones and unemployment
benefit cheque’s and refusing to pay for a haircut. What sort of behaviour is
this for an Old Boy of his age?


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 21:43:22 (BST)

I whish to disassociate myself with the posting by ‘Luther’, which states
‘Lets face it anyone over the age of 60 should have the right to vote taken
away” and all other derogatory remarks directed towards the over sixties in
that posting. I did NOT make that posting, it was, I fear, made by someone with
a deranged mind, who, for what ever reason, wishes to paint me as an unfeeling
cad with no respect for the elderly. This is simply not true. This same person,
it seems, is also out to blacken the name of WashBoard Dave: no where on this
forum can I find a posting from the good man which says, ‘euthanasia for the
over 60.s has merit’ David himself is well over sixty

I am Luther

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 18:59:48 (BST)

Thank you for your apology Agnes and please accept mine also, (refferring to
“old spinster” comment……unnecessary!)You should most definately
not wither away in a cold, horrible flat, I would not wish that on anyone (well,
except maybe the young kids who get themselves pg deliberately so they can have
a nice place to live, and not work or pay a penny their whole lives……ooops,
but then that’s a different debate altogether!!!):-)


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 18:04:28 (BST)

I would just like to add that I DEFINATELY do not agree with anything
horrible that Luther has said either even if I stood to his defence. If
anything, I think adults of a more mature age should be treated with more
respect, and the pensions they receive at the moment is nothing more than an
insult. Morgan, I can tell by your posts that you are a passionate man when it
comes to war issues, and I would not dream of insulting you by continuing with a
subject on which you clearly have more knowledge than myself. We will have to
agree to disagree, no matter who has all the answers.Please kindly note that I
am aware of Agnes’ wish to wipe the slate clean, and I did mention this in my
post, but she also requested a reply from me to her post which called
me/labelled me as, and I quote: “failed lib dem”, “ethically
inconsistent”, poor “level of intelligence”, “ridiculously
worded post”, etc etc. She requested a reply and she got it, otherwise I
would have been happy to leave it!!!!!!I hope this will be the end of it, and we
can all look forward to happy postings again, because bitchiness is just boring,
boring, boring 🙂


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 17:56:33 (BST)

Thank you Morgan and Kerri for your kind words of support. Joanne, it seems
that Luther and I have a clash of personalities and as I am 27 years over my
‘sell by date’ I would like Luther to tell me what I should do. Should I sit
lonely in a cold flat with no tv or food and just wither away, would that make
him happy? I do apologise for any personal comments I may have made but not for
my opinions. I disagree that I am ignored on this site, infact I would imagine
the opposite is true!So, here is to happiness, Uckfield and living happily way
past 60. One more thing to ‘observer’ I really am not Edna Brown, I do not know
who she is either!

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 17:49:50 (BST)

Joanne, I believe that Agnes has already apologized: “so I apologise to
anyone I have upset or offended and would like the opportunity to wipe the slate
clean.”Agnes Skinner- Monday, May 05, 2003 at 23:16:24 (BST)And I don’t
think I have to add to what Agnes said regarding the war and Sadam. Just
remember that if want an intellectual debat on the topic, then do your research
before starting. Sentimental hippy? Well, there were loads of those in the 60’s
and 70’s and our poor veterans suffered because the hippies were full of blame,
even though they claimed to wish for peace. By the way, I’ve never said that you
were a terrible person, just un-knowledgable, there’s a difference. So I
apologize if you feel that my remarks have made you feel terrible, that wasn’t
my intention. Luther, Agnes certainly doesn’t need to be any more committed than
you. I hope that you live to be 100. Many people over the age of 60 are ignored
and left to die in this country. The government gives us pittance to live off
of, even if we did fight for this country. Finally, Agnes, have a gorgeous time
in Spain. However, you are missing some lovely stolling weather here though.

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 17:03:05 (BST)

Agnes, you will see by putting me down, yet again you are doing little more
than proving my point. I was not being hypocritical, I was merely suggesting
what may happen if I were to make an assumption about you as you did with
Luther. You have been very clever to avoid the fact of why I posted to you in
the first place which was to tell you that your message to Luther was both very
unkind and unnecessary. As you suggest below, you would like to wipe the slate
clean. maybe this should start with an apology to Luther then???I may be
uneducated in war, and I may not have the right answers. I just know what I feel
in my heart, as I said to Morgan before. Hence, why I care very little about
your insults to my intelligence. Your retalliation is always personal rather
than factual which is why it would appear you are becoming further more
unpopular with the people who would like to use this site for happy chat and
healthy debate. You need to learn in life Agnes, that not everyone will always
agree with your opinion about things but it doesn’t make them any less
intelligent than yourself. Maybe you ought to have a think about why people have
gotten so cross with you. I think if you started to convey your opinions and
answers to others postings without all the cursing remarks, everyone would pay
more attention to you. There may even be people on this site already who agree
with a lot of what you say, but are put off telling you so incase you find some
excuse to bitch back at them, as you do with most. I will ignore your insults to
my intelligence as you don’t know me from Adam. I have no bitterness towards you
as I have happiness in my life. To everyone else on this site – it does of
course work both ways. I’m sure you will all agree with me that if Agnes kindly
retracts her unkind statements, we should all do the same.


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 14:41:16 (BST)

Congratulations for your work and thank you.

jan <jan@jan56.bz.tc>

raleigh, nc USA – Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 06:54:31 (BST)

Agnes Skinner, Edna Brown, same stinging nettle under different names, a Edna
or is it Agnes? Everyone who posts on this board knows this.


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 00:44:17 (BST)

Why can’t this be a nice friendly guest book, everyone is being so horrible
to each other. Try and respect that everyone has different views on things and
are allowed to put them forward. I hope Agnes has a lovely time in Spain and she
comes back safely to us soon. 🙂


– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 00:21:09 (BST)

Lets face it anyone over the age of 60 should have the right to vote taken
away. Think of all the housing that would become available if these people were
all put in homes and basically ignored, they are a drain on public resources
what with their pensions and medica lcosts. Washboard Dave is right when he says
euthansia for the over 60.s has merit. I have put my website on for all
interested parties as I know there are many of you

Luther <bozofool@hotmail.com>

– Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 00:07:05 (BST)

Agnes, just be yourself. Say it as it is. If it offends so be it. Freedom of
Speech (just). Democracy (slipping away)


– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 23:59:35 (BST)

Thankyou Elain, I have no idea who Mr Dave is and my religion is christianity.
Not insanity which seems to be the norm! Anyway, I have decided to make an
effort to try and just be a nice old lady again as I feel too much hatred is
being ushered into my direction, so I apologise to anyone I have upset or
offended and would like the opportunity to wipe the slate clean.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 23:16:24 (BST)

‘An Observer’ it was not Agnes but Sarah and Others that made comment on
‘Washboard Dave’. At the end of a message you will see the posters name, when
the name is S A R A H this indicates the poster was indeed Sarah and not Agnes –
got it?


– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 23:07:41 (BST)

Dear ‘an observer’,Exactly when am I meant to have said these things about Mr
Dave? I have no recollection of it at all. I think you are confusing me with
someone else and I am sure that as such a devoted and honest member of the
community, you will not hesitate in apologising to me for the libellous comments
you have written.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 22:28:59 (BST)

Once again Agnes has come out with a diatribe of hate, I wonder what
motivates this hatred, I expect it would take an army of psychiatrists to work
that out.A few days ago she was attacking WashBoard Dave, posting a plethora of
lies about the poor man. Being the gentleman he is, he chose to turn the other
cheek. However, I think the truth must out and the good people of Uckfield
should have the opportunity to see for themselves what a liar Agnes is,
therefore, I am taking it upon my self to post the u r l of Wash Board’s web

An Observer

– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 21:44:23 (BST)

Joanne,No, I am not a lonely old spinster, if you cared to actually read this
forum, you would realise that. Also, the sensationalism you seem so intent on
preaching to us all sounds as if it comes straight from the Daily Mirror, I do
think it is acceptable to use a school as a war base, whatever strategically
tactical decisions were made, I am sure the makers were more qualified in their
decisions than you are in your criticism, as for the boy Ali, it is terrible but
war is not pretty and is sometimes necessary. Can you give a viable alternative?
I think you will find that the old Iraqi regime was more evil and more
destructive to Iraq than a few cruise missiles. I expect you were one of the
failed Lib Dems that followed your ginger alcoholic leader up to London to get
ignored by the majority of the good English people who supported this war.
Joanne, you are ethically inconsistent with your criticism, you say I should be
ashamed of talking about Luther’s family background, yet you find it
acceptable to talk about me and my personal life. Again, hypocritical to the
point of making me suspicious about your level of intelligence.One last comment
on your ridiculously worded post, if war is never the answer, what was the
answer for WW1, WW2, the gulf war and the recent conflict? I am dying to hear
your answer as you seem to recommend your self quite highly. Self recommendation
is NO recommendation Joanne. I expect you think the Americans and English should
have tried to ‘talk’ to Saddam? Or should we have waited until he had
nuclear weapons which would have made an invasion impossible and would have
ultimately killed hundreds of thousands of people?I eagerly await your reply.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 11:13:58 (BST)

Thankyou Alan and Morgan for your support, to be quite honest, I am not too
bothered by the intellectually bankrupt few who post here under many different
names, I am currently in Spain with some friends, relaxing and having fun and
thought I would see what was happening here. Anyway, I hope Uckfield FM is a big
success and I will be at the carnival this year, cheering on Debbies Dancers!

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, May 05, 2003 at 10:54:13 (BST)

What did Linda (and Mike Skinner come to that) do that was so brilliant when
she (and he) was on the council?


– Sunday, May 04, 2003 at 23:05:59 (BST)

Agnes, ignore the fools. At least you can string more than one sentence
together. Have you noticed the abusive posters can only manage one sentence,
maybe two on a good day AND they never have an alternative point of view.


– Sunday, May 04, 2003 at 23:03:41 (BST)

Agnes, you have done more to support the argument for euthanasia than Maggie

Jack Skinner – no relation, thank god.

– Sunday, May 04, 2003 at 19:15:21 (BST)

Agnes, you nasty old woman, why don’t you do Uckfield and yourself a favour,
have yourself commited, if you can find a loony bin to take you.


– Saturday, May 03, 2003 at 22:43:53 (BST)

I am sure the message posted by ‘Chris Dowling’ isn’t in fact from him. Why
the person posting in his name is being so unkind about Linda I do not know. She
was a very popular member of Uckfield Town Council for many years and I am sure
we haven’t seen the the last of her.

Mike Skinner

– Friday, May 02, 2003 at 11:09:04 (BST)

Morgan, I most certainly see your point. I agree that what our British
soldiers are doing is very brave and they should be celebrated. I also
understand your point of sacrfice. But does it really make that much of a poorly
educated person to know that killing our own kind is wrong? I’m sorry if I prove
to be naive in the light of what “must” be done to stop Saddam, but
again, can you really blame me for wishing they would find another way to stop
him? Can they not just hunt him and his crew down without open fire on the whole
country?Maybe I am too kind natured and too soft for my own good? I will never
agree with war, no matter what reason is given as justification. I’m sorry but
violence of any kind does not bear well with me when it affects innicent people.
My hubby and I are expecting our first child in October, and I am terrified of
the kind of world I have to bring my child into.A sentimental hippy who wishes
for peace??? yes I guess I am, I can only apologies if this makes me such a
terrible person.xxx


– Friday, May 02, 2003 at 11:02:40 (BST)

Joanne, I hate to tell you this dear, but you need a bit more education. Yes,
war is cruel, but sometimes it is the right answer. I served this country many
years ago so that you and the next generations could have the freedom to live
without being suppressed. I am sad to hear that you think it is okay for us to
continue to allow Sadam from killing and torturing hundreds of thousand of Iraqi
people. Sometimes in this life, we have to take measure in order to instill
peace, and that sometimes means we have to go to war in order for it to get
better. Killing a few in order to save a million, in my eyes, is worth the
sacrifice. I think that our British and American soldiers should get a round of
applause for doing their job effectively.

Morgan Schlitz

– Friday, May 02, 2003 at 09:48:45 (BST)

So the old shagger ASHBY (Linda Forde’s great friend and confidente) has yet
again failed to be elected.Came bottom of poll and it has to be said that Linda
did not DARE stand for election. – one vote Linda – even Greg would not have
supported you

Chris Dowling

– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 23:34:11 (BST)

Not another radio station! As if there is not enough stations already there
is to be an ‘Uckfield FM’ – why?


– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 21:45:33 (BST)

Not another radio station! As if there is not enough stations already there
is to be a ‘Uckfield FM’ – why?


– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 21:45:13 (BST)

Joanne you are absolutely correct – war is never the answer. If Britain had
not entered WW11 we would have got rid of those pesky jews, the Americans would
not have joined the war in Europe and you most probably would have not been
born. I would have ruled Europe and maybe the world and murdered everyone who
did not fit my ideal of the perfect human. Yes if Britain and America had kept
out of it the world would not have the problems it has now and the overall
population would have been halved

Adolf Hitler

– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 21:39:54 (BST)

… my point proven!!!…and by the way, I don’t think that Uckfield is the
centre of the world, I just think that everyone should work together to make it
a nice place to live. So what if it isn’t the most interesting and vibrant place
in the world as long as it is a safe and pleasant place to live? Surely that’s
what is most important???!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 11:54:33 (BST)

more tea vicar?


– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 10:13:48 (BST)

Agnes, you are a very nasty woman saying those horrible things to Luther. It
was totally unnecessary to make such wicked remarks about his “family
background”. You should be ashamed of yourself. In one breath you are
preaching about the right of freedom of speech, and in the next you are
deliberately insulting a man for having his own opinion. If you wish to be taken
seriously in your comments then I suggest practicing what you preach would be a
good start. So maybe you thought what Luther said was wrong, and maybe it was,
who knows? What matters is that you stick to the subject in question instead of
resorting to personal, immature retaliation. Who will take you seriously if you
argue in this way???As for the war and protestors, the people who are against
war and protest are usually very intelligent people who know a damn sight more
about the politics of war than I imagine you do. Yes, Saddam needs taking down,
yes Iraqi civilians need liberating. But by war? No. How many more Iraqi’s,
British and Americans dying will it take before people will realise that war is
never the right answer. I suppose you think using an Iraqi primary school as an
army base is acceptable? Or that the 12 year old boy left with no limbs and no
family is all justified in the plight to stop Saddam? Stick to having your
opinion, it really makes no odds, but think before you put others down it only
makes you look very pathetic indeed. You made assumptions about Luther from his
postings…so by the same assumptions I am guessing that you are one of those
lonely old spinsters with little better to do than peer out from behind your net
curtains, putting the world to rights???


– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 10:12:28 (BST)

Edna, of course the persecution of the elderly is an important issue. What
makes you think I was referring to that line of discussion?? Luther, everyone is
entitled to their opinion and if people have a problem with Uckfield, then it is
their right to share their views… However, posting unfounded, unjustified
comments is not constructive at all and does not create a base for discussion,
it just promotes bad feeling!!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 09:46:07 (BST)

Reverent PersilI feel I must put pen to paper in defence of Wash Board Dave.
I cannot understand why so much unfounded vilification of a good man has been
posted here in the last few days. Is it jealousy on the part of Edna and Eddie
that directs their hands to type such lies?The only truth in their statements is
that Wash Board spends a few weeks every year staying with his family in
Uckfield. Although, for many years Dave was involved in the music world he has
never been involved in drugs or in any type of crime. And as far as his family
is concerned, to say they are ashamed to admit that they are related to him is
ridiculous. Now a days Dave is retired from the world of music and devotes all
his time to helping those who have fallen from grace into a pit of sin. His web
site is visited by hundreds of thousands of people every year who need to read
his words of wisdom, help and advice.As I’ve been writing this, I have been
puzzling over the reasons why Edna and Eddie should post such lies about such a
kind and goodly man and I think I have the answer: they have muddled Wash Board
up with his younger brother, who is a notorious con man, drug dealer and petty
thieve, who has, in the past, used Dave’s good name in some ‘scam’ or the
other. Even as a small child, he was known as little b, for obvious reasons.

Reverent Persil

– Thursday, May 01, 2003 at 00:22:16 (BST)

Can I come along for an interview please?

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 23:21:43 (BST)

Hi you guys, if you look at the whats on section you will see that Uckfield
FM is s radio station that will broadcast in the summer from the Picture
House.Just been announced that it will be on 87.9fmJudging by some of the pages
I have read, we could have a few debates on air by the looks of it. Who says
nobody cares about our town.www.uckfieldfm.co.ukStay tuned.

Paddy Rea <paddy@uckfieldfm.co.uk>

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 23:18:14 (BST)

Tetzel, if people want to criticise Uckfield, that is there choice, but
criticising the people of Uckfield, that is why he is vilified. Coming on and
calling us ‘plebs’, what should he expect or do you think that is acceptable

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 22:57:15 (BST)

I agree with Luther, why is it, whenever anyone has the nerve to criticise
Uckfield, they are vilified?


– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 22:34:47 (BST)

Jo, you stated this board should be used to discuss important issues. I think
the possible explotation of the elderly of Uckfield is IMPORTANT. I am a
resident of Uckfield and as confirmed by PC Eddie so is the evil Washboard Dave.
I am aware of this criminals surname but will not disclose it as I have no wish
to cause problems for the remainder of his family, particularly his younger
brother who is a really nice person and has done a hell of a lot for this town

Edna Brown

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 22:06:36 (BST)

Sarah, I agree with you and Jo regarding positive comments concerning
Uckfield but it needs people like you to post more often on this board. However
Washboard Dave was born and still lives part of the year in Uckfield. Due to
Daves noteriety (drug crime, extorsion, internet scams including corrupt
‘churches’) his family in Uckfield keep quite about being related to him. You
should be able to tell when Washboard Dave is in town due to the increased
Police presence!

Eddie (serving Police Officer)

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 21:53:57 (BST)

Dear Luther,Out of interest, and I am sure that most of the people here ARE
interested, where exactly do you live? And why would you consider yourself not
to be a ‘pleb’ when you come here and call the people of Uckfield names for no
particular reason. I imagine you are an angry man, why? I am not sure, perhaps
your father left your family when you were young, or perhaps your mother earnt
her money on her back to feed your tiny mouth when you were small, or perhaps
your ‘uncle’ had his very own special was to feed your mouth when you were
small, either way, do you think anyone really cares about your delusions of
grandeur and self important postings?I suggest you go back to therapy Luther,
you are a man in need of help, remember Luther, it was not your fault, don’t
blame yourself, time heals, it really, really was not your fault.

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 21:50:06 (BST)

Sarah, Jo, and other small ‘town’ plebs, just accept that Uckfield is a small
dingy no- interest ‘town’, not the centre of the World.


– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 21:38:23 (BST)

I agree, this site is for the people of Uckfield and should be used to
discuss important issues! I have no idea who to vote for, but it obviously
should be someone who knows Uckfield!!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 10:03:10 (BST)

Who really cares about ‘washboard dave’ or what ever his name is!!!! this
guestbook is about Uckfield and the people who live in it. Lets talk about what
we want for our town in the future … and who to vote for on thursday, I just
hope that the LibDems don’t get too many votes, they are so up their own
backsides and don’t care about the town, and I say ‘town’ because one of them
who wants to reprecent Uckfield on Wealden district council is quoted as saying
what a nice little ‘village’ Uckfield is, so he really knows the area well ….


– Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 00:10:10 (BST)

Just noticed my spelling in the first message – apologies, I can’t type on
this laptop!!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 20:43:40 (BST)

…and by the way, does anyone know why my rabbit has started plucking her
fur from her chest – just wondered!!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 20:41:31 (BST)

I have just read through this guestbook and have been quite dismayed at the
number of comments slating Uckfield… I have lived in Uckfied for the past 3
years and would have though that we should be promoting our Town and making it a
better place rather than posting nasty comments and putting it down.. Your
comments welcome!!

Jo <j.relf@virgin.net>

– Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 20:37:53 (BST)

Why, oh why do some people deliberately set out to destroy someone else’s
good name and reputation by lies, half truths and innuendo? Edna Brown’s
posting on this board is a combination of all three.My brother’s – WashBoard
Dave – Sanctuary for Sinners cannot, in the true sense of the word, be
described as a church, it is a self help group for those who have lost their way
in a moral maze beyond their understanding. And to say that the group’ is ‘a
nasty cult and is very much involved in Devil Worship and Voodoo’, would be
laughable, if it was not so far from the truth and so hurtful. ‘Church is aimed
at the elderly rather than younger members’, ridicules, on what basis, Edna
Brown, do you write this? The average age of a group member is 37 – if you
wish to dispute this Edna, I suggest you go to our web site, click on statistics
and read through the survey carried out for us by a well known reputable
company, who contact over ten thousand of our members. One of their many
findings was that the average age of a group member was only 37. Again I quote
‘inciting anarchy against any form of progression or change,’ If it were so,
would my brother and I have built, with the help of Paul Moderator, one of the
largest non-commercial sites on the web? I could go on refuting all the other
rubbish that Edna Brown has posted but I don’t think it is worth it: for, all
those hundreds of thousands of good people who belong to our group or visit our
web site know, it is all lies.One last thing Edna, hell have no fury like a
woman scorned, and many years ago, my brother scorned you, is that not so Edna?-

Sister Joy <preachermanforgod@hotmail.com>

– Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 18:58:57 (BST)

Agnes I despair of the youth of Uckfield. At last they have the chance to do
something that will be of benifit not just to them but the whole community and
they do nothing. Keep to 30mph untill you see the camera destroyed


– Monday, April 28, 2003 at 23:04:14 (BST)

My goodness, I did not know it was so easy to disable these cameras, so how
long will it be until it has been ‘doctored’? And does this mean I can safely
drive down the high street at 40mph again?

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, April 28, 2003 at 22:12:54 (BST)

Please take extreme care if you intend to have anything to do with WashBoard
Dave, the ex front man of the 1950’s group “Dead Cats Guts” His so
called church is a nasty cult and is very much involved in Devil Worship and
Voodoo. Unusualy the ‘church’ is aimed at the elderly rather thanyounger members
of society with the main aim appearing to be inciting anachy against any form of
progression or change, for example a group of south coast senior citizens were
organised into a vigalante group that terrorised the proprietor of a computer
shop and ultimately caused thousand of pounds worth of damage. The propretor of
the shop has since suffered a total mental breakdown and has been judged unfit
to give supporting evidence in court to support prosecution of the offending
senior citizens. Washboard Dave is supported by his sister, who has served
prison sentences for fraud, embezzlement and assault, together with a chap known
as Paul Modernator. Please take as my Aunty Edith became a member of this
‘church’ and suffered financial losses resulting in the loss of her home.

Edna Brown

– Monday, April 28, 2003 at 20:03:14 (BST)

umu guy i dey here make una carry goo

bakasi wetego <bakasi@wetego.com>

– Monday, April 28, 2003 at 08:36:48 (BST)

To put the record straight. Like so many young men in the pop industry in the
50s and later, I have to admit that I let my moments of fame go to my head.
Whilst touring the states in the 50s I did have a short fling with a young
married woman, however, she was separated from her then husband, a record
producer, at the time. Today she is a household name, obviously, I am not going
to name her but I will say it was not Momma Deborah. Momma Deborah and I go back
a long way but our relationship has always been platonic and to this day we are
still great friends. Letting out a few trade secrets here, I have collaborated
with her on many of her records as a backing singer, also writing many of the
lyrics, Momma writes all her own music.It has been mentioned earlier that when I
retuned to this country after touring the States in the 50s I started my own
Church: this is true to a point, what I actually started was a sanctuary for
people like myself, who had slipped from their own high moral values and felt
that they needed away back from the slippery paths they were taking. I’m glad
to say that over the years the sanctuary for sinners that I founded has gone
from strength to strength, with many hundreds of thousands of members.If anyone
feels that maybe we can help them, send me an e mail and I will send you the URL
of our web site. I prefer not to leave it here, as it looks like self-promotion.

WashBoard Dave – Dead Cats Guts <preachermanforgod@hotmail.com>

– Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 22:10:39 (BST)

G’day from Australia!I am undertaking family history research and believe
that my great grandfather, Robert Ellis may have been born in Uckfield around
1860. He married Elizabeth Comber (from Cuckfield) around 1875 in London and
thence migrated to Australia shortly after. The family returned to the UK around
1893 and both parents died shortly after their return.I would like to hear from
anyone who may have information/knowledge of the Ellis family in Uckfield and/or
descendants.RegardsPhillip Ellis

Phillip Ellis <nbr@hunterlink.com.au>

– Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 05:25:12 (BST)

the school looks like its in very good shape. ani cabrera is is a very hard
working indivisual that diserves to be top shareman of the school.

jay-eye a.k.a x b-friend

– Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 20:54:46 (BST)

Very interested to see postings concerning Momma Deborah and Washboard Daves
Skiffel Group. Terry is wrong in saying the Dead cats were playing at Folkestone
with Acker Bilk in the 50’s when Strangler On The Shore was No.1 as this record
was not released untill the late 60’s. Now Momma Deborah was and is a true
sensation, she continues to out sell ALL other recording artists in North
America, each of her releases now numbering over 40 has reached the No.1 spot in
America, the last 11 reaching the No.1 spot on the day of release. Now weighing
in excess of 35 stone!!!, Moma is currently in Iraq tending the needs of
“my boys” and yesterday addressed and performed for the worshippers of
Iraqs largest mosque. Why her records are banned in Europe has never been
disclosed but fans can download many of them from websites


– Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 00:29:46 (BST)

Edith, it is nice to hear your grandson is pro active in his stance against
injustice targeted at the law abiding. Another defence against these money
making scams of Speed Cameras is Expanding Foam squirted on the camera lens
glass and into any unprotected orifice on the protecting ‘box’. This foam can be
purchased from most DIY and Hardware shops and comes complete with protective
gloves and extension tubes that in most cases overcomes the need to climb the
camera support pole. Note: paint aerosole sprays do not appear to work as the
paint runs off the glass!


– Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 00:12:01 (BST)

Agnes, you could be right! its just that police in Uckfield is such a rare
sight theese days I do not recognise one when I see one!


– Thursday, April 24, 2003 at 09:33:01 (BST)

Kerri, are you talking about the Uckfield Police? It is the only time I see
them, big grins on their faces, blue lights flashing, sirens blazing, speeding
up the high street!

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 23:09:50 (BST)

Aussie is another word for alcoholic

Bruce and Sharleen

– Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 10:47:07 (BST)

My grandson hangs a car tyre on the speed camera, pours a little petrol in
the tyre and sets it alight. The heat and smoke from the burning tyre destroys
the camera. I wish more of todays youth exhibited such enthusiam to destroy
equipment used by police to extort cash from us


– Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 10:43:46 (BST)

Great job!

dawn <dawn@dawn101.home.ph>

beloit, wi USA – Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 10:41:51 (BST)

Agnes, the speed camera is there to stay, lets hope it catches some of the
‘boy racers’ that seem to think it is cool to drive their cars at 80miles an
hour in the middle of town.


– Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 09:58:03 (BST)

I am unsure as to the political motivations of Syria, Iran and Saudi Arabia,
I think that great caution should be given before entering another war as I
think the support would be less for any further action. Has anyone yet seen this
new speed camera? Is it temporary or is it to stay?

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 23:45:13 (BST)

It’s like an ulcer but mere painful.


– Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 23:19:49 (BST)

Whats an Aussie?


– Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 23:02:07 (BST)

Not only is Saint George the patron saint of England, he is also the patron
saint of Syphilis. Says a lot about you English, don’t it?

Aussie Joe

– Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 21:04:04 (BST)

This Wednesday 23rd April is St Georges Day. Do you care?

John Bull

– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 23:33:36 (BST)

AgnesI agree with you regarding the Lib Dems, what a wishy washy lot of out
of touch politicians they are. Did you know at their last party conferance a
resolution was passed to ask Osma Binlahden if he supported the motion to stop
the docking of dogs tails – this is true! Agnes where do you stand on Syria,
Iran, Saudi Arabia and the other middle Eastern Dictatorships?


– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 23:31:38 (BST)

well said Agnes, I agree with you 100% and if you feel the same there is a
book at the civic centre where you can write messages of good wishes to our boys
and girls who have been helping to take down Sadam and his evil goverment.


– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 16:52:15 (BST)

and I also think Charles Kennedy should be ashamed of himself, not supporting
our war heroes, it just goes to show what a shallow, gutless man he is and I
think if he is the ‘leader’ of the Lib Dems then they are all quite as useless
as he is.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 15:01:59 (BST)

I think that it is easy for people to insult old people such as myself and
Morgan. I think I have earnt the right to say what I want, if it was not for my
generation, you would all be speaking German and would have to drive Beetles and
salute Hitler posters in the streets. I think you could all do with a good
history lesson. I have no real care that you do not agree with me, this is a
public discussion board and this is a democracy which entitles me to say
anything I want, it is called freedom of speech. I think it is good that the U.S
and the U.K have gone to Iraq and sorted out one of the most evil dictators
ever. I find it quite strange that people went to demonstrate against the war,
have these people no jobs to be at? But, before you say it, I realise it is
their right but they are wrong. The only good dictator is a dead one. Well done
our army boys, you are all heroes.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 14:59:14 (BST)

I too remember the skiffle group, Dead Cats Guts, they were pretty big in the
middle to late fifties, up there with Lonnie Donigan and Nancy Whiskey. I still
have one of their records “Night Time Reaping in the Day” I’m told it
is worth quite a lot of money, I wouldn’t sell it though, too many memories
wrapped up in it.There was four in the group, Wash Board Dave played wash board
– what else – and was lead singer, an extremely good looking young man, Cooper
Coot-Man played mouth organ, Webby Webb played double base – tea chest, broom
handle & twine – and Bottle Boozer – one of the weirdest boys I ever saw –
played Gazzo and cider bottle.I remember reading they toured the States and that
Wash Board Dave became involved in some sort of scandal involving a married
woman. When the group returned to this country Dave left them and became a
recluse, later founding his own church, which I believe is still in existence
with a very large following.


– Monday, April 21, 2003 at 00:26:08 (BST)

Terry, Momma Cass died many years ago zo I don’t think they have the name
mixed up, unless you can ‘surf the net’ up in heaven! lets hope so!


– Sunday, April 20, 2003 at 10:25:22 (BST)

Running through the messages a few days ago, I noticed a couple of postings
referring to Momma Deborah, the name rang a bell but I couldn’t quite put my
finger on it, until tonight. Watching a music show on T V, where one of the
contestants sang in the style Of Mamma Cass, I wondered if this was the female
the two posters were referring to and mistakenly got the name wrong? Hope this
helps.One of the posters, ‘Wash Board Dave’ asked if anyone remembered him
and his Skiffle Group. ‘Dead Cats Guts’ from the 50s, hated to admit but I
do. Went to see them a number of times, the last time I saw them was at Lees
Cliff Folkestone, they were in the same show as Akka Bilk, who’s recording of
Stranger on the Shore was number one at the time.


– Saturday, April 19, 2003 at 19:57:19 (BST)

Kerri, Ian Knottage is an excentic multi millionaire who made is money from
importing cigarette filters from China. He usually wears a long leather coat
with leather cowboy boots but no trousers, you can usually see about 100mm of
white leg between top of boot and hem of coat. He is harmless but considers
liberal democrats to be wishy washy, not of the real world, fools. He is
sometimes kown as the Old Boy and is often seen off of Rye fishing from a huge
ocean going called “Little Russia”, last year he was prosecuted for
using explosives to stun fish but I do not know the outcome of this


– Friday, April 18, 2003 at 22:13:34 (BST)

Please can somebody tell me who Ian Nottage is? He spoke to me in the street
this week and told me that I HAD to vote for him to be a Town Councillor, that
the Liberal Democrats want to knock down the industrial estate and build
apartments on Luxford Field. He seems a bit demented and to be honest he made me
feel very uncomfortable. He was wearing a big leather hat and a long coat, is he
really going to be on the town council? does anybody know?


– Thursday, April 17, 2003 at 00:09:56 (BST)

Morgan don’t get upset we know the message below this was not posted by you.
Just ignore it and make no referance to it at all and the brain challenged moron
will give up (after a while)


– Wednesday, April 16, 2003 at 21:51:36 (BST)

I say let’s bomb the whole of the Middle East. What have the stinking Arabs
ever done for anyone? Then bomb North Koreas, slitty eyed c****s!


– Wednesday, April 16, 2003 at 19:29:27 (BST)

Is that you Bert? If it is you owe me a quid.


– Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 22:19:03 (BST)

I am looking for somebody I lived next door to while I lived in Uckfield. If
any one knows her please email me or leave a message on this board, Thank you


– Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 21:55:02 (BST)

Thank you Giddeon for your comments. I do enjoy this website, it’s good that
we are given this right to say what we want here. I think that we wouldn’t be
able to “start over” as Sarah suggests, but that it can be improved
upon. I must say, that while the guest book is current, much of the information
seems to be from 2000 – 2002 in this site. Aren’t we in 2003? I would like to
know the upcoming events for the Brass Bands.

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 21:17:22 (BST)

Dear all, I think it would be a good idea to start this guest book all over
again. We could aviod things like polatics (I know Lib Dems will find this hard
to do) and we could just have nice friendly comments. No bitching and calling
each other names. Lets try it for a week and see how it goes!


– Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 18:59:42 (BST)

I remember back in the 50s, when I was touring the western states of the U S,
with my skiffle group ‘Dead Cats Guts’- perhaps some of the older inhabitants of
Uckfield remember us, we quite often performed at the Lees Cliff Folkestone –
Momma Deborah asked us to guest on her first L P ‘Momma Went Blue over You’ it
went gold within two weeks. She was and is a lovely lady, we exchange letters
weekly.As Roger, I think it was, says, Momma, is at present, in Iraq
entertaining the coalition troops.If Mark, when he returns to this message
board, would like to leave an email address I will send him Momma’s address.

‘Wash Board Dave’

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 23:21:17 (BST)

Who let the cat out of the bag? ….. sorry I meant box


– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:37:15 (BST)

Morgan don’t take the messages so seriously, I am sure they are posted in fun
and not meant to insult or hurt. I am sure everyone here has the greatest
respect for you particularly now that we know you served in WW11


– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:34:30 (BST)

Mark, how interesting that you should mention Momma Deborah on this board. In
the USA she is famous and has a folk/country following. I read in the London
Times newspaper she has been flown, at the personal request of George W Bush, to
Iraq so as to tend the needs of US troops. Have you tried a search on Google
because at one time she had a very nice website

Roger Cloke

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:29:57 (BST)

From someone who lives outside of Uckfield, it sure sounds like you have a
lot more fun knocking each other on the Web than socialising in your own
town…I think you should all meet up for a drink or two and be buddies with
each other! Chill out people – you only live once!. MaureenDiscount Music
GearDiscount Musical EquipmentDiscount Music GearLow Cost Music Gear


– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 22:19:24 (BST)

Hi saw your web site it looks cool Can anyone help im looking for Momma
Debroha. She is known to surf the net, she has visited me a number of times and
dissapeared and I miss herMark The Moderator

Mark The Moderator

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 20:37:55 (BST)

I think that the people is this town are becoming extremely unkind. Agnes was
only being a friend to me, and now everyone else is being very rude to her. If
you remember, I said that I was disappointed in the fact that someone used my
name while making repulsive suggestions. I can’t believe what the people of this
town are coming to! There used to be a time when we were kind to our neighbor,
as Agnes is to me. You should all take a mirror and look at yourselves,
especially Kerri and Graham. Our generation does not believe that violence is
not the answer to everything! You all need some proper history lessons. What are
they teaching you kids these days? I am very distraught over what is taking
place on this web site. I need a holiday. Would be happy to stay in touch,
Agnes, like minds should stick together.

Morgan Schlitz

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 17:10:30 (BST)

Agnes, you should take up drumming to rid yourself of some of that pent-up
frustration and reduce your stress levels a bit.Then you could join my band as
we are looking for a drummer! :o)Bill.

William Badger

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 15:35:56 (BST)

Agnes, thats your generations answer to everything …. violence!

Diane Blessed

– Monday, April 14, 2003 at 13:21:15 (BST)

Agnes what an arrogant humourless lady you are. Do you really think anyone
could care less if you boycott this board, I for one certainly won’t. Yes, why
not start your own membership message board where you can censor posts to make
sure only those with the same point of view as you can leave messages, only
problem is there will probably be only you. It saddens me that you advocate
violence and assault of young adults, thank goodness Kerri is protected in law
from people such as you………… Naomi, why should we convince you there are
things to do in Uckfield, what is your interpretation of things to do?


– Sunday, April 13, 2003 at 22:12:15 (BST)

we intend to move to uckfield with our young family…after reading this
guestbook I am begining to change my mind ..it seems that there isn`t much too
do…….unless anyone can convince me otherwise.


– Sunday, April 13, 2003 at 10:55:14 (BST)

Agnes, if I was your daughter I would have left home at the age of five and
gone and lived on the streets, anything must be better than having to spend any
time with you. I think it is a great idea to set up another web page … see you
all there. Good night and God bless you all.


– Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 23:57:59 (BST)

Kerri, I would also like to add that if you were my daughter I would thrash
you till you had manners.

Agnes Skinner

– Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 22:30:10 (BST)

I just wanted to say to Morgan that he should not be hurt by the comments
left here by some inbred halfwit who has nothing better to do with his or her
time than to insult people. I think that people should respect the likes of you
and I Morgan, we stand up for what we believe in and we made this country strong
and proud until Margeret Thathcer decided to bring it all tumbling down around
us. I will email you Morgan, perhaps we could start up our own alternative
website with a guestbook that can only be posted in by members, that way we
might be able to keep the less intelligent member of the Uckfield community out
where they belong.

Agnes Skinner

– Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 22:29:12 (BST)

I must say that I’m dissapointed, it appears that some person has posted a
message with my name. I did not participate in the Gulf war, I was in World War
II, and I love cats, I have 2 of my own. Whoever you are, just know that you’ve
made an old man very sad and hurt.

Morgan Schlitz

– Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 20:38:21 (BST)

bye, bye Agnus, you will not be missed!


– Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 13:30:44 (BST)

I am honored to drop a line here and say thank you for keeping this great
site online.

hilda <hilda@hilda356.blinks.net>

sunnyvale, ca USA – Saturday, April 12, 2003 at 02:13:40 (BST)

It appears that there are some very sick and quite gutless people posting on
here recently. I have decided to boycott this guestbook until the oddballs have
been recaptured and are securely back into their straight jackets.I will be
back. Asta La Vista. …. BABY!

Agnes Skinner

– Friday, April 11, 2003 at 23:00:43 (BST)

I must agree with Elaine, the best cat is a dead cat. When I was a child my
mother was always getting cats but I killed each one, this stood me in good
stead while in the Special Forces during the Gulf conflict of 91

Morgan Schlitz

– Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 23:43:47 (BST)

Sarah if you are referring to enemas I do not feel this board is the
appropriate place to discuss such matters


– Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 23:39:01 (BST)

elaine, you are a very sick person …… you should try the hose pipe
treatment on yourself.


– Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 14:45:30 (BST)

uckfield is a good place to live!!!


– Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 10:57:25 (BST)

Like us many of you will suffer with cats digging up your gardens and pooing
and peeing on yor lawns. To solve this ongoing problem my husband and I entice
the cats with scraps, place them in a cardboard box, run a hose from the car
exhaust into the box, pop the dead cat into the dustbin bag and theres the end
of another problem. Death is both painless and swift. We console ourselves with
the knowledge we save hundreds of wild birds for every cat killed.


– Thursday, April 10, 2003 at 00:18:46 (BST)

pls keep offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

mumu <mugu@YAHOO.COM>

– Tuesday, April 08, 2003 at 17:39:45 (BST)

Agnes, I’m quite dissappointed in you, but I would have to say that the
presenters on “COPS” that I’ve seen are not orange, they’re more of a
yellow colour. One of the problems, though, with having more people walk on the
streets means that there are more problems dodging the wads of phlem that cover
them. This has to be one of the most revolting habits our young kids of today
have taken to doing. I think that, with walking bobbies, people should receive
fines for spitting. It’ll make our pavements cleaner and prevent the spread of
TB. Plus, I don’t want to see/step in half of someone’s lung clinging to the
pavement trying to breathe.

Morgan Schlitz

– Monday, April 07, 2003 at 23:59:56 (BST)

Agnes, I’m quite dissappointed in you, but I would have to say that the
presenters on “COPS” that I’ve seen are not orange, they’re more of a
yellow colour. One of the problems, though, with having more people walk on the
streets means that there are more problems dodging the wads of phlem that cover
them. This has to be one of the most revolting habits our young kids of today
have taken to doing. I think that, with walking bobbies, people should receive
fines for spitting. It’ll make our pavements cleaner and prevent the spread of
TB. Plus, I don’t want to see/step in half of someone’s lung clinging to the
pavement trying to breathe.

Morgan Schlitz

– Monday, April 07, 2003 at 23:59:16 (BST)

No it was not Agnes who emailed me the Nuthatch recipe. Dave two of the birds
were marinated for 4 days and still tasted revolting. Agnes I can not agree with
you reagarding songbirds being just for the countryside. Both I and my husband
Pauls family were born and bread in the country for many a generation and to
this day regularly eat songbirds of every description. We also eat hedgehogs,
rooks in pies, pigeons, pheasant, partridge, woodcock not to mention rabbit and
squirrel etc. We rarely if ever buy meat


– Monday, April 07, 2003 at 22:19:32 (BST)

Isn’t it the most annoying thing when someone doesn’t answer your emails or
messages??? I think that they should all be beaten to a pulp and die. As for the
Nuthatch receipe, sounds like maybe they needed to be marinated a bit more in
order for them to taste better.


– Monday, April 07, 2003 at 17:41:26 (BST)

Rosemary, whilst you assume you are funny, I find no sense of chuckledom in
your warped humour. Songbirds are purely pleasurable for the countryside
community and even joking about eating them brings you down to the level of
someone who lives in Wales.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, April 07, 2003 at 12:54:23 (BST)

Maureen, was it Agnes that emailed you the recipe for marinated nuthatches –
I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.I have a real good recipe for Song Thrush,
would you like a copy?


– Sunday, April 06, 2003 at 23:00:19 (BST)

Marinating Nuthatches, what a disgusting trait, I hope they poison you.
Morgan, I too watched a ‘cops’ programme but the presenters are always orange.
As for speeding cars, I think that they should all have their licences taken
away and should be made to walk again. I think people in this country would be
farr more healthy and a lot less fat if they decided to walk to the shops
instead of driving.

Agnes Skinner

– Saturday, April 05, 2003 at 21:20:20 (BST)

You bunch of £16k plebs


– Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 23:33:07 (BST)

Would the person who sent me a recipe for marinated Nuthatches, and who now
ignores my emails to her, please note they taste disgusting. My husband took the
afternoon off of work and managed to trap/shoot 5 Nuthatches and I followed your
recipe to the letter. If you emailed as a joke then I do not think much of your
sense of humour.


– Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 23:06:31 (BST)

Can anyone tell me what happened to the kids drop-in centre at the top of the
high Street?

Barry <bkeeys@hotmail.com>

– Tuesday, April 01, 2003 at 23:04:55 (BST)

Not only should people get tickets for speeding, they should get tickets for
putting on lipstick or makeup while driving the car. This drives me mad to see
such vain women in their car, trying to make themselves look better! PAY
ATTENTION TO THE ROAD WOMEN!!! You’re giving the rest of the women who DON’T put
on makeup while driving, a bad name.


– Monday, March 31, 2003 at 23:20:14 (BST)

Thank you Agnes for being so kind — you understand what it’s like. I think
Beth just wanted to take the piss out of an old man, who obviously worked very
hard at understanding this computer stuff, and it takes me a long time to type,
as I have difficulty finding the letters on the keys let alone what is says on
the screen. As for you, missy, you should treat your elders with more respect
than to poke fun at spelling mistakes. The presence of police in a small village
such as Uckfield would have a wonderful impact on the community’s developement .
But instead of having speed cameras though, why don’t they have officers who sit
in parked cars hidden amongst the bush with speed guns. That way, they can clock
the speeder, give a ticket to the appropriate driver, and eat a lot of donuts
and drink coffee while they wait. I think the officers of the area would be much
happier! I’ve seen them do this on TV “COPS” in the States and the
officers look like they really enjoy it and the residents always wave to
them.Agnes, one more thing, does this mean that I will get to taste your cooking
soon then? I can bring something that will make you smile, and a bottle of red

Morgan Schlitz

– Monday, March 31, 2003 at 23:10:56 (BST)

Dear Agness, I am sure the new Chief Constable of Sussex has very recently
said he intends to return to policing as it was years ago and get officers out
of cars and back on the beat. Regarding the speedway camera – I am sure you are
correct that it is simply a revenue generator. It has been proven that automatic
signs that flash the speed limit at you, as you approach at speeds in excess of
the limit, are far more effective in slowing drivers down. Most drivers are not
intent on exceeding speed limits but we all need a reminder from time to time –
these signs do just that without persecuting law abiding citizens for more and
more of our cash


– Monday, March 31, 2003 at 23:09:28 (BST)

Dear Beth, I am sure you realised Morgan meant singing! So Morgan, I am a
great fan of home cooked food and can honestly say that I have never given my
husband anything else than my home cooking. We are not fans of ‘fast food’ like
Mcdonalds (which I hear is not very fast in Uckfield)! I have a question for the
Uckfield residents, has anyone noticed the new speed camera at the top of town?
I thought these were only meant to be placed in accident ‘hotspots’ but I am
sure there are not many accidents in this place and would go as far as saying it
is purely there as a revenue generator. It makes me wonder how much it costs and
think that the money would be better spent employing local bobbies to walk round
Uckfield and get to know people. When was the last time you saw this? The only
police I see in Uckfield are the ones who go 80mph through the High Street with
their blue lights on.I am sure that community policing could be great for
Uckfield, has anyone any idea who I could contact about this? I would like to
air my views to someone in the police force who has a bit of authority.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, March 31, 2003 at 22:12:25 (BST)

Morgan, what were the Nuthatches signing? Was it your autograph book or a
paternity agreement before consumating their pairing off?


– Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 22:59:29 (BST)

Agnes, the Nuthatches are out and signing today! Would be good to take a
stroll through the country side soon, I even got a pair of shoes that would be
perfect for the occasion. Nevermind the KFC, I rather want to taste your cooking

Morgan Schlitz

– Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 19:17:18 (BST)



– Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 15:51:25 (BST)

HI does ne one know of a men’s football club who would let a 16 year old
train and play matches wid them. preferbly in the uckfiedl area if u do can u
reply on here and leave your email address so that i can email u wid my details
thanks alot!


– Sunday, March 30, 2003 at 15:50:42 (BST)

John (Churchill), are you related to the Churchills of Westerham?


– Friday, March 28, 2003 at 23:58:46 (GMT)

Did anyone read the sussex express today about Uckfield football club? the
chairman seems to be a very angry man, but if the club isn’t paying their rent,
then surely its the rate payers of this town that is subsidising the club. And
if he is so unhappy about the ground why doesn’t he find somewhere else to play?
I think that he is angry because Uckfield FC. are at the bottom of the table,
and can’t win any of their games!!!!!

Sarah Green

– Friday, March 28, 2003 at 22:44:09 (GMT)

Hello, I’m looking for someone I used to know around the Uckfield area called
Melanie Best. I believe that she lived on one of the Uckfield farms. However, I
haven’t been in contact with here for years.Melanie, if you read this please
post a reply on this noticeboard.Kind regards/

John Churchill

– Friday, March 28, 2003 at 13:27:27 (GMT)



– Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 18:08:19 (GMT)

I’d have to agree, arguing is usually a waste of time, and as they say, life
is too short. It would be nice if the people of Uckfield can exchange views in a
more respectful way.


– Thursday, March 27, 2003 at 17:09:10 (GMT)

Hello Morgan,I am not really sure what KFC is, but if it is this new fast
food, I will have to pass on it, I don’t like aubergines either urrrgh!. I love
birds, Nuthatches are one of my favourite and there are plenty to see in the
vacinity. Isn’t it strange how there is much arguing here at the present moment,
such a lovely little village and all people want to do is argue. Perhaps I am a
little old fashioned but I think people should only argue if they really need

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, March 26, 2003 at 18:53:58 (GMT)

Would love to be shown around the counrty lanes of Uckfield soon, Agnes —
must be picturesque this time of year. Perhaps you can point out the nuthatchs
from the spotted flycatchers while munching on a KFC.

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, March 25, 2003 at 09:58:25 (GMT)

I have recently returned from a trip to Spain to see some friends and at last
this board has some messages. WELL DONE Uckfield, keep up the good work. If
Morgan reads this, I would be happy to accept his invitation to show hime around
the countryside of Uckfield.

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, March 25, 2003 at 00:11:11 (GMT)

Can anyone explain why this year the clocks change during the night of
Thursday 27th and Friday 28th rather than Saturday/Sunday night, as previously.
I am sure changing the clocks to summer time part way through the working week
will cause total confusion.


– Monday, March 24, 2003 at 23:35:15 (GMT)

We were better represented when Michael Skinner was on the council. Is there
any truth in the rumour that he moving back as he is now involved in property


– Monday, March 24, 2003 at 22:22:45 (GMT)

I agree with the REAL Stan French, say what you have to say, but say it in
your own name. Do not hide behind other people all the time.the REAL Linda Forde.

Linda Forde <lforde1950@aol.com>

– Saturday, March 22, 2003 at 15:52:01 (GMT)

What puzzles me about people who leave what they think are ‘funny’ messages
(pretending to be from me or Chris Dowling ) is that usually they are such drips
that they are aware of that and therefore are too afraid to give their e-mail
address. One can but be sorry for them.Stanley French

Stanley French <stanley.french@btinternet.com>

– Thursday, March 20, 2003 at 18:01:21 (GMT)

Stan is “like the town” and very much like Luxford Field. Doesn’t
drain well is little used and only loved by those who hate any sort of
change.Stan though is very much like Len Ashby – and most of the Town Council,
little known, very much despised and trying to make Uckfield like Croydon.

Chris Dowling

– Wednesday, March 19, 2003 at 19:56:52 (GMT)

Stan French lets the cat out of the bag when after telling us he is an active
Conservative says that he knows enough Labour supporters very well so it could
not be any of them.So, Stan, who is it? Luxford Field is on a slope, it is a
FIELD and can be replaced by another field in the heart of the town. With no
shops left worth speaking about why do you want people to go out of Uckfield to
do their shopping?As a councillor, Stan, how many elections have you actually
won?(and didn’t you used to live in Croydon?)

Linda Forde

– Wednesday, March 19, 2003 at 19:53:14 (GMT)

Are there any rock drummers in Uckfield or the surrounding area with kit and
transport looking for a band?Do get in touch!

William Badger <william.badger@badgered.net>

– Wednesday, March 19, 2003 at 14:13:14 (GMT)

not at this momment

elizabeth <oLdScOoLPuNkEr9@aol.com>

– Tuesday, March 18, 2003 at 20:50:32 (GMT)

The recent Comments on Uckfield by a “Stanley French” are very
definely not by me – I am a Town Councillor and like the Town, especially
Luxford Field, which is why I an opposing any proposal that would affect it.As
Elections are coming up and it is known that I am a very active Conservative,
surely it could not be possible that a political opponent has put it there !!!P.s;
Any Labour supporter can ignote my sarcasm – I know enough of them well enough
personally to know they would not do that. Stanley W French

Cllr. Stanley French <stanley.french@btinternet.com>

– Tuesday, March 18, 2003 at 16:24:59 (GMT)

I’m happy to sign your guestbook.My little boy came home yesterday and asked
why people go to war.It was hard for me to explain except to say that some
people have forgotten how important love is.Let this serve as a reminder to
everyone. Love and Peace.

Kim Jenson

– Monday, March 17, 2003 at 08:01:46 (GMT)

Agnes has got it wrong when she tells you the place ws named after the river.
The river Uck was unnamed until a few years ago – reference books refer to it as
a tributary of the Ouse or as the Iron River because of the industrial history –
like Huggett’s Furnace somewhere north of Buxted on the river. If Agnes was
right there wuld be a river Is, Fram, Heath and Cuck.The alternative history is
that the town was founded sometime in the 1990’s by the migrating people of
Croydon. They wanted to set up a place in the country like their home town –
soul less, heartless with lots of “keep off the grass” notices and
little fences round front gardens. They did not use the local shops (Uckfield is
down to one butcher and no greengrocers). The wealth of ordinary local people
who worked on the industrial estate was lost as Trifast’s share price dropped
from 310p to 55p as they all had share options. The Croydonians took no interest
in their new residence and so you see the town as it is today

Stanley French

– Sunday, March 16, 2003 at 08:05:26 (GMT)

Dear Helga,You are right, Uckfield is full of lovely country lanes and lots
of fresh air but I have to say that I think your critisism of the name is
somewhat misplaced. Uckfield has a wealth of history although many of the
residents of Uckfield I am sure are ignorant to this fact. I will give you a
brief history to enlighten your curiosity.The name ‘Uckfield’ is derived from
the river Uck which flows through the village i.e. the field on the river Uck .
It was a small village until the advent of the railways in the 1850’s since when
it quickly grew into the small town it has now become. The village was
originally located at the top of the high street near to the church, but the
railway which was layed alongside the river attracted businesses, and the houses
and shops now spread from one to the other. A manorial court and prison were
present in Uckfield circa 1260. King Edward I stayed with Arnald de Uckfield in
1299. The town’s oldest surviving building may be the former Olives Farm, now a
row of High Street shops, but it has undergone drastic alteration. Bridge
Cottage is now thought to date from 1430-1500; by 1570 it housed the
Archbishop’s officials. The town’s earliest known magistrates’ session was in
1594. During the 16th and 17th centuries Uckfield was also a venue for coroners’
inquests and militia infantry musters. Though it remained officially a chapelry
of Buxted until 1846, in practice it was a separate local government unit with
its own parish registers (surviving from 1538 when decreed), churchwardens and
other officers. There was a major plague outbreak in April and May 1610. By
1637, carriers from Uckfield were at the Tabard Inn in London’s suburb Southwark
every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Until 1752 at least this was the chief
Lewes- London road. The main roads around Uckfield were turnpiked in the late
18th century. There were daily London coaches by 1805 and twice a week to
Maidstone by 1828. In 1801 the first official census recorded 811 inhabitants.
Matching the national trend, this had virtually doubled to 1,590 in 1851. East
Sussex’s first Chief Constable chose Uckfield as his base in 1840, and it also
became headquarters of a Poor Law union of parishes. A branch of the Upper Ouse
Navigation, improving river access, reached Shortbridge to the west in 1793.
Barges carried chalk, coal, corn, lime and timber amongst other goods, but the
venture never paid. This enterprise, and the long-distance road services, faded
in the face of the cheaper and faster railway, constructed from Lewes and
extended to Tunbridge Wells in 1868. Another projected line, between Balcome and
Polegate, ran out of funds, but lengths of embankment and a bridge survive in
the fields between the bypass and Buckham Hill. Until now settlement and
business still clustered around the junction of Church Street and High Street,
with farm workers in the outer hamlets of Ridgewood and Ringles Cross. An
Edinburgh guidebook of 1861 was struck by “Sussex farmers retaining the
traditional top-boots and cut-away coats of the Georgian era” and
“staring villagers” in a district “of primitive character”
where inns had limited cuisine’s and “cellars innocent of French
vintages”.I hope this helps you Helga and you will enjoy the delights of
Uckfield for years to come.

Agnes Skinner

– Thursday, March 13, 2003 at 23:12:04 (GMT)

Uckfield is such a nice place to visit, but what I do not understand is the
name. UCKFIELD. How did they come up with that??? I know is has beautiful
country lanes, and clean fresh air, but really, Uckfield? UCK? Similar to Y-UCK?
Why don’t they change the name? It would be a much more welcoming place to live
or visit if it was called something else, like Ambridge.


– Wednesday, March 12, 2003 at 17:43:05 (GMT)



– Friday, March 07, 2003 at 19:23:56 (GMT)

Hi I used to work as a nanny in Five Ash Down. I would like to get in touch
with the family i used to work for. They were called Tony and Karen Walker. My
surname used to be rumbold and i was there in 1991 – 1992. I used to know quite
a few of the people there and the locals at the Firemans Arms. If oyu remember
me or can help then please e mail me.

Sharon Smalley <sharon.smally@btopenworld.com>

– Thursday, March 06, 2003 at 23:50:21 (GMT)

Uckfield FM will be broadcasting from 7 July to 3 August live from studios in
The Picture House. Weekdays at 11am and 3pm has been set aside for interviews on
air with representatives from local groups and associations. If you want to tell
the local community about what you are up to then contact us on 01825 767134 or
email info@uckfieldfm.co.uk. Spaces are filling uo quickly so don’t delay.

Paddy Rea

– Monday, March 03, 2003 at 19:26:07 (GMT)

How does everyone feel about the estate that might be built on bird-in-eye?
it worries me because of the traffic in framfield road is already heavy. there
must be somewhere else that they could put 500 homes.


– Saturday, March 01, 2003 at 15:44:21 (GMT)

Thank you Morgan, I agree with what you have said about our local Citizens
advice bureau. Also, I do love our country lanes, soon, the green shoots of
spring will be coming to life and the lambs will be frolicking in the field,
that is if the many kebab shops in uckfield have not got the monopoly on lambs
this year. Why has it gone so quiet on this site. I used to enjoy reading the
comments posted here, good and bad. It made me feel as if I was part of a
community so please come back all you posters, I have many problems health wise
and this is one of my few pleasures.I think that this is a very valuable voice
for Uckfield and it should be used to better effect and real issues should be
discussed here. !

Agnes Skinner

– Friday, February 28, 2003 at 19:20:09 (GMT)

Agnes, don’t apologize to Sarah. If I remember correctly, she slagged you off
publicly, when clearly you didn’t deserve it. As for the Citizens Advice Bureau,
Uckfield’s is one of the best in England! There should be more people who are as
dedicated to providing assistance to those who need it the most as our local CAB
volunteers. And Agnes, we should go for a drive down one of Uckfield’s finest
country lanes together…we can pick up a KFC along the way.

Morgan Schlitz

– Tuesday, February 25, 2003 at 12:26:16 (GMT)

Oh my, it seems that my ramblings have made it onto the times website, I must
apologise to Sarah as I never thought it would be publicised like this. The
funny thing is, I originally came here a while ago to tell everyone what a
wonderful CAB service we have in Uckfield! Anyway I apologise if I upset anyone
but I do feel very strongly about what happens in Uckfield and think we should
all boycott the new KFC offices as Kent football club should be based in Kent
and not Sussex.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, February 24, 2003 at 23:50:13 (GMT)

I am a giant chicken, in Buxted.

Buxted Chicken

– Monday, February 24, 2003 at 11:13:48 (GMT)

You know that this website was featured in a newspaper because of it’s
innate, bigoted ramblings. It’s compelling reading. You should all be proud.
Never has so much small mindedness reached so many people.


– Friday, February 21, 2003 at 16:03:53 (GMT)

Um…where and what is Buxted Chicken?


– Friday, February 21, 2003 at 14:10:46 (GMT)

Questions I know the answers to I don’t need to ask, right? -Calvin

Calvin_ Hobbes_ <calvinnnnnnhobbes@lycos.co.uk>

UK – Wednesday, February 19, 2003 at 13:40:34 (GMT)

I love Uckfield and intend to retire there. The arguing below seems very
childish but nevermind. The best property seems to be the Manor Park estate
where there is lots of grass. If my old mate Jamie Silverman reads this please
get in touch or meet me at the new KFC.

euan reda

– Monday, February 17, 2003 at 17:47:00 (GMT)

Happened to be in a little town of Stoksley in the North York Moors when I
had the misfortune or fortune to visit there local health centre. There I met a
lady who knocked me off my feet. I met a wonderful woman ( I think her name is
Linda and is a secretary there ) and fell in love at first sight. If you ever
read this Linda pleeese get in touch.

Ed Kennedy <koala_bear15@hotmail.com>

– Monday, February 17, 2003 at 05:08:02 (GMT)

Does anyone know if it’s true that KFC. are coming to Uckfield? if so where
are they going to be? Linda.- Monday, February 03, 2003 at 18:50:01 (GMT)I
already told yer its gunna be next to buxted chicken but some stupid pratt keeps
deleting it!


– Monday, February 17, 2003 at 03:13:37 (GMT)

still Looking for friends that I went to manor county primary school with,
left uckfield in 1991 and moved to leeds am now 21 years old especially looking
for Adam Palmer, steven busby and Joe Bialic.

Adam Gill <adamgillsolskjaer@hotmail.com>

– Tuesday, February 04, 2003 at 11:39:23 (GMT)

Does anyone know if it’s true that KFC. are coming to Uckfield? if so where
are they going to be?


– Monday, February 03, 2003 at 18:50:01 (GMT)

Who the hell are all of you people?? Do you acctually live in uckfield or are
u using the uckfield website’s guestbook to spam obsenity’s at each other?? You
really should get out more like take a walk round uckfield rather than being on
its website you might learn a thing or two and who ever the webmaster is if this
guestbook is monitored i would do something about the unshrowded IP addresses at
the bottom of the guestbook because i dont know about them but i wouldnt want my
IP on display for neone to see, be nice to each other.Peace. !!I felt the hate
rise up in me, knelt down and cleared the stone of leaves, i wandered out where
you can’t see, inside my shell, i wait and bleed!!


– Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 22:32:51 (GMT)

Shut up all of you…. arghhh i cant handle it anymore….. argghhhh someone
help arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


– Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 20:34:40 (GMT)

Why is everyone being so nasty to each other? Agnes, you are old engough to
know better! Calling Sarah a hussey is not very grown up is it! And telling her
to use herself as a sandbag… well really! I work on the industrial eastate and
I have a very good job which pays very well thank you. Why shouldn’t Sarah post
on this site, just because she has kids and a husband doesn’t mean that she has
to be at their beck and call 24/7, she is allowed to spend time on her computer.


– Wednesday, January 22, 2003 at 15:05:33 (GMT)

Dear Sarah,No doubt that next you will be welcoming asylum seekers into
Uckfield with open arms. People generally have state handouts as they are far
too lazy to work or work for cash in hand. Only disbled people should be
entitled to handouts. If you do have children as you claim, I suggest you spend
less time here and more time teaching them manners and the value of a hard days
work so they do not end up sponging off the state also. I also have a husband, I
am very happy and have two grown up children who work for a living. I am
obviously an easy target for you Sarah, but do not wish to continue this
pettiness. I hope you are glad that you have made an old lady very sad, an old
lady who worked her fingers till they bled in the war to make this country what
it is today. Well, was before all the asylum seekers and spongers came here.

Agnes Skinner

– Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 23:47:23 (GMT)

Which Sarah is this. Is it number 1, number 2 or number 47? Why is happy lady
with two wonderful children and a good job posting on this site at midnight on a

Henry I

– Monday, January 20, 2003 at 19:20:54 (GMT)

Agnus, please get a real life. You sound as if you are envious of me! I have
two wonderful children and a husband, I have never had state handouts as we both
work. (not on the industrial estate) In this world Agnus some people have to
have help from the state through no fault of their own. You are a introlable
bitter woman who must be very unhappy, I feel so sorry for you, may God bless
you and help you to try and find some happiness.


– Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 23:29:52 (GMT)

Dear Sarah, I am not a bitter old spinster, I am still married to a wonderful
man. Insults from a hussy have no effect on my life or ego young lady, it is
obvious you have too much time on your hands, I assume you are a single mother
on state handouts?Anyway, the industrial estate is horrible and I still hope it
floods and washes away, perhaps you could go down on the night of the floods and
act as a sandbag for the whole of the lower town?

Agnes Skinner

– Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 20:11:44 (GMT)

It is so. This site causes AcneI have visited this site on and off for two
years or so and recently started to get Acne, the spots are really horrid and
are all over my face and forehead. As I did not have Acne before visiting this
site it is obvious the visits to this site caused the AcneHas anyone else
developed Acne since viewing this site?


– Friday, January 17, 2003 at 23:31:26 (GMT)

Peter, This is the last posting I will make, as I don’t think your worth the
effort of typing, but for your info, I don’t work in Tescos, and I earn several
more times that each year. You, in my humble opinion are a snob who really cant
get a grip on life. Uckfield is far better of without you. I am proud to call
some of your “Plebs” my friends, and you, well, I would not piss on
you if you were on fire.


– Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 08:37:49 (GMT)

I lived in Uckfield 20 years ago before I made a mint and moved out to more
prosperous pastures. Bad luck ‘I hate Peter’, I am sure that you are enjoying
life on your £16k derived from stacking shelves at Tescos….


– Monday, January 13, 2003 at 21:30:42 (GMT)

Dear ‘I hate Peter’You should not worry about your spelling, you sound like a
much more educated person than Peter, who’s bigotted views show what a moron he


– Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 18:17:44 (GMT)

My spelling may not be that good, (due to dyslexia), but at least I am not
arrogant enough to believe that a town like Uckfield could loose so much
employment without the local economy suffering. 100 of your “Plebs” on
16K a year equals £1.6 million, These “Plebs” you talk about, spend
some of their income in the town, which in turn goes into other people pockets,
which is spent again – get the idea? Do you work for the Environment Agency by
any chance, you seem to have the same objectives as they do?

I hate Peter

– Thursday, January 09, 2003 at 08:46:53 (GMT)

To ‘I hate Peter’ – I’m afraid that your spelling leaves a lot to be desired
(please check out the basic error of using ‘your’ instead of you’re). Are you
one of those uneducated, low paid sorts? What’s more, if the industrial estates
is washed away, I won’t give a t*ss…


– Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 21:51:23 (GMT)

Peter, In my opinion, you are a retard. Your “Plebs” spend their
16k in the local economy, helping all of us. If there is another flood, I hope
your in the middle of it.

I hate peter

– Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 08:41:52 (GMT)

Yes indeed. The Uckfield industrial estate is a sh*thole; too many plebs on a
measly £16k a year for my liking. Bring on those flood waters…


– Wednesday, January 08, 2003 at 00:31:02 (GMT)

carry on, good start, more swearing words please

nasty mildrid

– Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 09:22:04 (GMT)

What a nasty, bitter woman Agnes sounds. I agree with Big Ron, there are a
lot of people who work on the industrial estate. Why would Agnes want all those
people to lose their jobs….. maybe she has never had to work to eat and bring
up a family … maybe she is a bitter old spinster.


– Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 08:23:27 (GMT)

Big Ron, sometimes, sacrafice is needed to enhance the beauty of the world.
If you stopped eating donuts, you too could be beautiful.

Agnes Skinner

– Monday, January 06, 2003 at 14:33:35 (GMT)

now christmas os over can we please get back to the fighting and bitching
that makes this site a great part of uckfield tradition

nasty mildrid

– Monday, January 06, 2003 at 08:51:52 (GMT)

Agnes, what about the people who work there? Dont you care if they loose
their jobs you selfish woman.

Big Ron

– Sunday, January 05, 2003 at 23:17:36 (GMT)

If the Uck floods, lets hope it washes away all those gastly buildings on the
Bellbrook industrial estate. I personally think that we should start a petition
to close them all down. Also, I think it is ridiculous that the only place to
store things in Uckfield is on that estate, why would I store my things on a
flood plain?

Agnes Skinner

– Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 14:32:01 (GMT)


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